Fire and the Flood
by ElleLaw
Summary: Casey Novak begins her teaching career only to find herself working alongside a beautiful blonde by the name of Alex Cabot. However, as attractions run high so do many risks. Which leads them both to wonder if its worth the risk of getting burned?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Here we go again! I hope you enjoy. Blitz and I merged two ideas to formulate this one. ;)

* * *

"When I was in high school I was bullied," the tall slender blonde spoke into the microphone quickly gaining small whispers throughout the ornate auditorium. "I know what you are thinking, 'That's not possible.' But it was, I was different and other kids didn't accept that."

Looking at the shock in the young students eyes, she continued, "I came to St. Francis Preparatory at age 16 to escape the torment I had experienced at my school in NYC. It meant I moved here alone, leaving my parents and sisters behind. I had to move in with an aunt I was only used to seeing during holidays. My whole world changed because of a few kids hate for me."

She let her words sink in for the younger students. Once the murmuring stilled, she picked back up, "Bullying is a real thing. If you repeatedly pick on someone because you don't like them it's bullying. If you plan ways to hurt a person it's bullying. You might be able to stop and change your behavior, but even years later the person that you tortured will still have those wounds. If you see it, report it. If you hear of it, report it. If you experience it, report it and let us help you."

Finishing her part in the bullying seminar, Alexandra Cabot sat down in her seat with the other teachers of Saint Francis Preparatory School. She was happy to be a contributor to this yearly event for incoming middle schoolers. She truly felt that it made a difference in how students learned to treat one another. She just wished someone had held these assemblies back when she was a kid. It could have changed her world significantly.

* * *

Leaving work that day, Alex found herself driving up the green winding road to her aunt's house. It was a place she visited often, but today she especially needed the comfort of the older blonde. Seeing her hostas lined driveway, she turned her Audi up the trail.

Meandering her way up the drive, Alex found herself remembering the day her parents brought her here to live out the remainder of her high school years. She'd been terrified and so lonely. In the end, she was thankful to live with her mother's sister. Aunt Liz had been more than kind, she'd become another mother.

Parking outside the old stone colonial style home outlined in meticulous gardens, the tall blonde school teacher left her car and headed to the side yard. Calling out, "Aunt Liz?"

She knew for the hour of 3 her aunt was most likely elbow deep in soil or clipping her roses. Crossing the old stone path carefully in her heels, Alex again called out, "Aunt Liz?"

Finally hearing a return, "I'm in the green house!"

Heading that way, Alex kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot through the damp ground. Reaching the doorway, she found her lovely blue eyed aunt waiting. "How was the day, Kiddo?"

"It went well," she answered as she looked at her toes in the wet grass. "I stayed after and answered lots of questions. Hopefully, it helps prevent what I went through."

"What you went through was flat out hate," Liz Donnelly huffed at her niece. She held the now thirty year too many nights as she cried from the wounds those awful boys had inflicted on her. "It was despicable."

Turning to look at the young blonde, she nodded in understanding, "I'm just happy you can create something good from all that awfulness."

Seeing her niece perk up, at her praise, Liz grabbed her basket of vegetables, and wrapped an arm around her. "I think I'm finished here, why don't we go inside and make a pot of tea. Then we can cook ourselves a nice dinner, and you can tell me when you are going to start finding a nice woman to bring home."

"Ha!" Alex laughed, "Where am I going to meet someone here?"

"Work?"

Opening the side door to the mud room, she shook her head, "Not a chance, they have a zero dating policy, not to mention I'd be out of a job if they knew I was gay."

"Such archaic nonsense," her aunt huffed as she set her basket of fresh veggies down on the counter. "I can't believe the Catholic Church hasn't joined us Episcopalians with being more accepting of all people."

"Maybe one day..." Alex sighed as she picked up the kettle and began filling it with water.

"What about your friends Abbie and Serena, don't they have a single friend?"

"You do realize the three of us are probably the only lesbians in all of Fairhaven right?"

"What about a dating site? I mean you haven't brought home a girl since college." Her aunt offered as she began busily cleaning veggies.

Laughing at the unexpected matchmaker, she held her hands up in surrender, "Fine, I'll see what I can do."

* * *

Walking down another empty hallway of the large classroom building, the young twenty four year old redhead could feel her heart begin to race as she looked over the school map one more time. "Building 7, Room 118...now where the hell is that?" She muttered to herself as her footsteps echoed through the lonesome halls.

"Do you need help?" A warm voice offered from an open doorway. Looking towards the sound, she found a welcoming smile from an early forty year old black woman, standing near a lab bench.

"Thank you, I'm so lost." The young woman spoke.

"What room are you in?"

"118, in building 7," she recited. "I'm new here, name's Casey Novak."

"I'm Melinda Warner," the older woman clarified, "I teach science obviously, from your location, I'm assuming you teach Language Arts or Math."

"I teach Language Arts, or at least I've been hired to..."

Sensing the apprehension in the younger teacher, Melinda placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "You'll do fine. Best advice I ever got was fake it till you make it."

"How long have you been teaching?" Casey asked as she followed the kinky haired teacher.

"I'm going on seventeen. Thirteen of which have been at St. Francis. How long have you been teaching?"

"This is my first year," the short haired redhead explained, "I just graduated from NYU."

"Oh," Melinda responded.

Casey didn't say much more, she picked up on the tone in her new cohort's last response. Clearly she wasn't what was initially expected.

Walking through an open breezeway to another building, Melinda opened the door. "Now, it can get a little confusing in this building. The rooms are built into pods, which means you'll share bathrooms and office space with the teacher across from you. Now, I don't teach Language Arts, but I believe your counterpart will be Alex Cabot. Alex is moving down from high school."

As she tried to remember her co-teacher's name, Casey also tried to leave mental breadcrumbs. Suddenly she found herself wishing her mother would hurry up and arrive with bulletin board supplies so she wouldn't feel so alone.

"Here you are," Melinda said interrupting the young woman's rambling mind as she unlocked the door. "This is your new room. If you find anything you don't need left behind by the former teacher throw it out. Otherwise this is all yours. If you need anything I am in building 5 room 75. But, Cabot should be around soon to greet you."

Casey was sure she'd forget every word, but shook the nice woman's hand and entered the dark room alone. Turning on one set of overhead lights she observed the bare space. The desks were stacked to one corner, a table and bookshelves in another, and cabinets along one wall. Opening her blinds a little to let in natural light she again assessed her room layout. It was very gray and very plain. So unlike her. She didn't even know where to begin setting up.

Walking to what she assumed was the office, she attempted to open the door only to discover it too was locked. Pulling her new set of keys from her pocket she moved to unlock it, when someone from the inside did so for her.

"Hi," a smartly dressed blonde woman said as she walked through the door. "Are you the new English teacher?"

Casey sighed at the woman, as she looked around the room for her map again. Clearly, Melinda had been confused as to who her co-teacher would be, or led her to the wrong room. "I think so, I mean yes."

The blonde smiled at the nervous redhead. She had to admire the beauty of the young woman. Her milky white skin, short chopped red hair, and emerald eyes that seemed easy to get lost in...

Regaining her footing, she righted her thought process, "So, you are the new English teacher?"

"Yes," Casey affirmed, "I'm teaching 7th grade Language Arts."

"Right, Language Arts. I'm going to eventually correct my curriculum lingo," the blonde said as she moved past the redhead to the thermostat. Turning the dial below, she indicated, "We are all green friendly here at St. Francis, you've got to turn it to make it come on."

"Oh," Casey replied meekly. She stared at the skinny blonde before her. The woman was dressed nicely even for organizing a classroom. She had colorful blue yoga pants on and a black thin zip up hoodie with what appeared to be a white tank top underneath. Not to mention, her blonde hair tied into a neat ponytail and she wore matching sneakers. For being dressed down, she looked remarkably put together. She suddenly felt very over dressed.

"Is this your first year teaching?"

"Yes, I graduated from NYU in May."

"That's great," the other woman replied, "They have a fantastic teaching program. You should be well prepared. I went to Boston College."

"Thank you," she replied, "By the way, I'm Casey Novak."

Pausing for a moment, Alex shook her head, "Oh my goodness, I forgot to introduce myself," she laughed, "I'm Alexandra Cabot."

"You are Alex Cabot," Casey more stated than questioned. "Okay, well I am in the right room then."

"You were expecting a man?"

Biting her lip for a moment, she admitted, "Yes."

"It happens all the time."

"So, do you prefer Alexandra or Alex?"

"Well, most people around here call me Cabot, and they'll call you Novak, so be prepared. However, you can call me Alex. That's what my friends and family call me."

Smirking at the older woman, Casey nodded, "And you can call me Casey."

For a moment neither woman spoke, they just stared at each other.

"I have a meeting in about twenty minutes for the 'Book Burning Committee-'" Alex started only to be interrupted.

"The what?"

"Oh, sorry," she laughed, "It's our committee nickname. Technically it's called, Literary Prevention Committee. Our job is to read novels parents want censored for classrooms. Basically, it's-"

"To prevent book burnings?"

"Yes," Alex laughed. "I like to save the books."

"How Guy Montag of you."

Alex beamed at the feisty redhead, "Nice Bradbury allusion. I think I'm going to enjoy working with you."

Again silence filled Casey's classroom. The younger teacher couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was something insanely attractive about her new counterpart. Yet, she had to remember her boundaries.

"Anyway," Alex picked up with a sigh, "I need to be going. I'll be held up most of the afternoon, but if you need anything you can help yourself to my classroom. Also," she added grabbing an abandoned whiteboard marker from the tray, "this is my cellphone number. Feel free to text me if you need anything."

"Thank you," Casey replied.

"You are welcome," Alex said checking her watch, "I've got to run now. See you later."

"Later," the younger teacher called back as she watched the blonde run off.

Sitting alone in her room, she couldn't shake the thought of Alex Cabot. She found the woman insanely attractive. It was a thought she'd have to bury for so many reasons...

* * *

Later that evening, Alex found herself sitting in her best friend's kitchen, watching the flustered brunette butcher a piece of chicken. "I don't think you are supposed to trim that much meat off with the fat."

"And I don't remember asking for your input," Abbie Carmichael spat as she looked at what she was being accused of, "But if you can do a better job be my guest."

"Happily," Alex said standing to take over, "When is Serena due home?"

"Any minute now," Abbie explained, "Her shift was up thirty minutes ago."

"Well that's good, I feel like I haven't seen her in weeks," Alex said as she tried to fix the mangled chicken.

"Yeah, ever since the new head nurse started at the hospital she's been psycho busy. But, I get the feeling things are starting to settle back down now. She's been getting home at more decent hours."

"Alright, your chicken has been cleaned," She replied as she passed the meat off and washed her hands.

Letting her friend take over the cooking process, Alex picked her phone up. Seeing an unknown number pop on the device with two text notifications, she frowned. Unlocking it, she quickly navigated to the messages.

The first message read, " _Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for earlier. You really helped me to feel welcome. I look forward to planning with you tomorrow._ "

The second one, " _By the way, this is Casey Novak._ "

Reading the messages made her laugh at the adorable nervousness of her new cohort. As she quickly responded, " _It was my pleasure. I am looking forward to planning with you._ "

Putting her phone away, Alex looked up to suddenly realize both Abbie and Serena were staring at her. "When did you get here?"

"The better question," Serena asked, "is who has you blushing that much?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm so happy you all are enjoying the new story! To be honest, I'm super excited about it too!

* * *

Casey stood in front of her small full length mirror. She felt foolish for being so concerned with her outfit, but she didn't want to be overdressed like yesterday. Today, she wanted to be more "Casey" and less professional.

Turning around she quickly found herself at the foot of her bed. To say her apartment was small would have been an understatement. It had a kitchen and full size bathroom, but beyond that it could only hold a loveseat, tv and bed. Yet, as her mother had put it, it was all she needed.

Tying on her sneakers, she stood and stared at herself once more. Today she wore black yoga pants, and her favorite John Lennon quote shirt. After fixing a few stray hairs, she felt confident.

Leaving her place, she thought about everything her mother had helped her arrange the day before. The retired teacher had helped her setup bulletin boards with literary themes, an area for class expectations, and a board to show off student work. She'd felt super confident in her classroom layout and then she walked over to leave Alex a note when she discovered how put together her counterpart's room was already.

Alex had furniture already arranged, former student projects on display, and her desk area was immaculate. Looking over the room suddenly made Casey super nervous, but luckily her mother had been there...

" _Casey," her mother had soothed, "She's going to have all this stuff together. This woman has been teaching for a few years at least. You'll get there before you know it."_

" _What if I don't have what it takes?"_

" _You do," she assured as she gave her daughter a hug, "You just have to give it time. Why don't you take her number and text her a thank you note? That way she'll be more apt to help you in the future."_

And that was exactly what Casey had done after her mother left for her hotel that night. She lay in her bed and fretted over what to text Alex Cabot. How to properly thank her and not seem lame. Then came the grammar paranoia.

It was only when she sent it that she realized she hadn't informed her who was texting. Feeling like an idiot, she'd added that it was herself, and hid in shame under her blanket.

But then, Alex's response came back, she felt like she might pass out from excitement.

Casey just wasn't quite sure why she found herself thinking about the blonde nonstop. She hadn't felt this much attraction to a woman since her freshman year in college when she'd fallen for a sorority sister.

However, that had ended in complete embarrassment, an uncomfortable time in confession, and a promise to her mother that she'd stop pursuing women. After that she'd vowed to herself not to make the same mistake. And that had worked wonders for three and a half years.

But now she found her resolve faltering...and thoughts of a beautiful blonde doing circles in her mind...

* * *

Getting to work that morning, Alex felt like she was dragging. She'd stayed at Serena and Abbie's way too late, then took care of some cleaning once she was home. Not to mention, when she finally had gotten in bed she couldn't stop thinking about Casey.

She wasn't sure why she seemed to be thinking about the redhead nonstop. She'd only spent about ten minutes in her presence, but after texting her at Serena's all she could do was think about her. The redhead seemed so vibrant...

Trying to clear her head, Alex forced herself to think about work and what she needed to get prepared before orientation. But then she saw the woman that had caught her attention walking into their classroom building. And all rational thought was lost.

Suddenly all she could think about was Casey again. How old was Casey? What did she like to do for fun? Did she like kissing girls?

"Ahh," Alex groaned. She had to fix her head before she caught up with her counterpart. It didn't even matter if Casey Novak happened to be gay, they could never be together because of working at St. Francis. She needed to let it go.

It had just been so long since Alex had been interested in another woman.

Walking into her building, Alex was greeted with total silence. Everything was quiet, not a single sound could be heard as she walked to her new home away from home. Leaving her cozy high school room and building behind was a sad day, but she was starting to enjoy her new setup. The lack of outer ground chaos was lovely.

However, the peaceful silence soon faded as she entered her classroom and discovered Casey's taste in music...

* * *

Walking to the redhead's classroom, she found her counterpart dancing and singing, while moving desks.

"Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things..." spin and push the desk into place.

As Alex watched the youthful woman dance and continue the first verse of the Taylor Swift song she had to bite her lip to not laugh. Casey was beautifully funny. There seemed to be this virginal innocence to her, and it made Alex burn with want. She'd have to check that desire daily at the gates of St. Francis.

Spinning on her heel, Casey continued, "You look like my next mistake, love's a game, want to play-"

The song kept going, but Casey merely stood speechless with an "O" on her face as she locked eyes with a smirking Alex.

She wasn't exactly sure what to say to her younger cohort. The young woman somehow made the whole event look sexy and inviting which wasn't helping her off limits plan. Finally, she found just the right thing, "Was that an offer or just part of the song?"

"Wha-t?"

Grinning, Alex softened, "I'm just playing around. You've got some moves. Were you a dancer?"

"Oh," Casey collected herself, "Yes, I danced as a kid and through high school."

"You still are a kid," Alex smirked.

She eyed the blonde. Somewhere in those blue eyes she could tell that Alex meant nothing ill by the comment. She could see something else there, but she couldn't place it.

Biting her bottom lip, Casey breathed, "Is that a problem?"

"No, not at all. How old are you?"

"Twenty-three," she confessed, "I turn twenty-four at the end of September. I have a late birthday."

Doing the mental math, Alex frowned, "Did you start college late?"

"Oh, yes, I took a gap year."

"A what?"

Casey laughed at her confused colleague, "I took a year off after high school. I decided to go on a trip with my church to help rebuild schools and some homes in the Caribbean after hurricane damage."

"That's very noble of you."

"Yeah, it helped me realize I wanted to be a teacher."

Alex stared at the younger woman for a minute. She was seven years younger than her, which usually would cut her right out of Alex's field of interest, but there was something that made her want to play with fire. "Would you like help moving your desks?"

"That would be fantastic!" Casey beamed.

Helping her to move the remainder of desks into rows, Alex noted, "You got a lot of work done in your room in just a day."

"My mom came to help. She used to teach."

"Runs in the family I see...was that around here?"

"No," Casey explained, "in NYC."

"Oh," Alex said scrunching up her face at location.

Casey didn't miss the blonde's displeasure. "Do you not like the City?"

"I lived there when I was younger. I don't have very fond memories of it."

"Ah, gotcha." Casey replied as she looked over the room. "Where do you think my desk should go?"

Alex looked around the room. "Over there by the window. That way you are hidden from the hallway when you don't want to be bothered, but you also have the view."

As she spoke, she led her to the area and showed her the lake that had been hidden from view by the blinds. Casey couldn't help but get as close as possible to the glass as she took in the sight.

"It's beautiful."

"Yes," Alex whispered as she stared absentmindedly at the sun breaking the pane and highlighting the woman before her. Casey's hair seemed to shimmer in the light. Catching herself, she continued, "The whole campus is...I loved when my teachers would take us outside for class in the fall and spring. It was such a wonderful delight."

Turning to her mentor, Casey probed, "You went to school here?"

"In high school. I moved here then."

"Wow," she replied, "That's so sweet. I find your dedication fascinating. How long have you taught here?"

"Six years," Alex conveyed. "I graduated at twenty-two with a degree in education, and a walked again at twenty-four with a masters in English Literature."

"And then you came home. Well, it seems you are highly regarded for it."

Alex blushed at the redhead's words as she moved back to the furniture, "Grab a side of your desk."

Doing as told, they quickly picked it up and moved it to the new location. Leaning against the window pane, Casey surveyed the room, "Wow, the stage is set! Thank you for all your help."

Alex gave the younger woman a smile. Her face might have said she enjoyed helping her, but her thoughts were less pure. "I'm very happy to have helped. Why don't we start planning?"

"Sounds great. Your room or mine?" She asked sitting in her seat behind the desk.

"Well, since you have the better view let's do it in here. I'll just get my stuff."

Watching the blonde walk from the room, Casey found herself unable to tear her eyes away from her counterpart's figure. From somewhere deep inside an intense primal want grew.

* * *

"So, the first month we are teaching classroom expectations and we will begin with an essay based on their summer reading lists. That way we can get an assessment of where they stand and where we need to go," Alex explained to her yawning rookie teacher. Smiling at the woman that had proved to be more than capable of teaching, she offered, "Why don't we call it for today?"

Shaking her head alert again, Casey countered, "We can continue. I just need to get some coffee."

Looking over their plans, Alex frowned, "We really are ahead of the game here. Both our rooms are finished, and we have the first month of lesson plans knocked out. I can definitely say that ninety percent of the teachers here aren't that far. We can relax."

Watching her apprentice bite her lip as she surveyed the table, Alex questioned, "Is something concerning you?"

"I'm just nervous..."

"About what?"

"Not being able to handle it. Encountering a problem and being lost completely."

Reaching across the table, Alex took the young woman's hand. "It's okay. You'll be fine. I'm here if you need help."

Casey let the blonde hold her hand for the moment. It felt so natural in a way. She didn't feel the need to retract it, she was perfectly fine letting the touch linger.

"Would you like to grab a late lunch?" Alex asked as emerald eyes looked into her sapphire ones.

"I'd love too," Casey said with a smile, "But do you mind if we stop by my place on the way? I want to change into some flip flops since I'm finished moving furniture. I hate having my feet trapped."

Smiling at her, Alex replied, "That's fine. Do you care if I drive?"

* * *

Pulling up to Casey's quaint apartment complex, Alex bit her lip. The brick building was full of aged character, and sat in the dead center of the historic district of Fairhaven. However, as she followed the excited young woman to the entrance she was filled with uneasiness. Something inside of her said she needed to distance herself from the redhead.

To begin, she recognized that Casey had reciprocated to light flirting. Then again, maybe the younger woman hadn't even recognized that she was flirting. Alex dug her fingernails into her palms trying desperately to change her thought progression.

But to make matters worse, now she was getting an inside view to who this woman she was craving was...that thought sent her into overdrive. Smirking to herself as she followed the new teacher up her apartment building stairs, she realized this could actually help if she discovered Casey was a total messy person. Her attraction would instantly be lost and she could go back to the friendship only safe zone...

"Here we are," Casey interrupted Alex's inner monologue as she stopped outside her door. "Home sweet home!"

Alex smiled at the redhead's innocence as she followed her into the small apartment. While the space was small it was tastefully decorated. Casey was clearly her type. Saying an internal, _shit, she_ verbalized _,_ "Your place is beautiful."

Casey blushed, "Thank you."

"Your colors and decor are very unique, I love it," she gushed as she walked the space admiring her style.

"I sort of developed it over the last few years." The redhead explained as she walked to the closet to swap shoes.

Looking at a shelf, an old glass paperweight caught Alex's eye. It appeared to have a piece of coral contained within. Picking it up, she examined the heavy object. It reminded her of the novel _1984_. "This is really awesome. Very Orwell," she stated as she went to place it back on the shelf, and that's when she saw him.

The boy who'd tormented her all those years ago...in a picture on the shelf...with a little red headed girl.

Dropping the paperweight as if it were nothing, Alex was frozen at the sight of him. It wasn't until she heard the glass connect with the wood boards below her that she jolted back to reality. Jumping backwards at the thud, she quickly scooped it back up into her hand. The glass hadn't shattered, but it was definitely cracked.

"Everything okay?" Casey asked the shocked blonde.

"No," Alex snapped before quickly covering, "I completely missed the shelf and broke your paperweight. I'm so sorry Casey."

"It's okay," she replied taking the broken item in hand with a frown. "I can still use it if I turn it to the side."

As she set it back on the shelf, Alex could see the disappointment in those emerald eyes. "I'm really sorry."

"I know," Casey breathed, "But accidents happen."

"I guess. By the way, who are these people in the picture?" Alex asked.

"Oh," She replied, "That's my brother, Adrian."

That was it. Adrian. Adrian Novak. She'd spent so many years in therapy working to forget his name. Working to let go of the pain, and here he was...and Casey was his sister...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Everyone's reviews had me laughing and smiling. I loved everyone one of them. Thank you!

The delay is work related. Blame my boss. I'm working to get caught up for you. :)

* * *

Closing her eyes for a moment, Alex prayed for strength to not say anything. She didn't want it to start. Not yet...

She figured from Casey's whole persona she'd taken in over the last two days that the young woman might be different. That she might be nice and kind hearted. Then again, Adrian had seemed nice once too.

"Alex," she interrupted, "It's okay seriously. I know you didn't mean to drop it."

Taking the out, she turned to her, "Well, for what it's worth, I'm really sorry..." she let the words settle as if they actually meant so much more.

"Let's go get that lunch," Casey offered. She clearly wanted to put the paperweight behind them. Leading the way to the door, she found herself wondering why the blonde was so hung up on it.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Casey found herself back at home lying on her bed staring at the ceiling. She was in a state of shock to say the least. She wasn't exactly sure what all had happened that afternoon, but her new cohort's personality had gone from happy and energetic to lost and distant.

Alex had claimed it was a migraine, but she wasn't sure she believed her. Something just seemed to have suddenly flipped in her. Almost Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde like, but gentle sad versions.

If she was being totally honest with herself she'd thought Alex had been flirting with her the whole first part of the day, but then it seemed to just stop. As if something had changed her mind, and for some unknown reason that made Casey very sad. As much as she didn't want to, she really knew she liked Alex. Just as much as the blonde had flirted with her, she flirted back.

Cabot was sexy and confident. Smiling to herself, Casey figured that it was Alex's confidence that attracted her the most. Leaving the bed, she walked to the shelf and took the paperweight in hand.

The glass had cracked in the fall. The coral seemed okay, but it didn't produce the same illusion now. As if the beauty and wonder of it had been lost.

Casey scrunched her face as she looked at it. She couldn't help but speculate if the image she had of Alex Cabot would collapse too...

* * *

Pulling into her aunt's driveway, Alex let out an enormous sigh. She felt as if she'd been holding her breath for the last two hours. Now she was _home_ , now she was able to let her guard down.

Climbing from the car, she headed straight inside. She knew the older blonde would probably be in her gardens doing her usual tending, but she needed a glass of wine before joining her. It had been one of those days.

Walking through the old house's hallway, she noticed the photos of them over the last fifteen years. Before she moved to Fairhaven her life consisted of living with her parents and sisters. It was a normal happy life until she met Adrian and his comrades.

When she left the city to come here she felt as if she might as well be dead. Leaving the life she knew at home in NYC seemed like a daunting endeavor. But soon through therapy and support from her loving aunt that life faded away. As if she was really her Aunt Liz's daughter. She thought of this home as _home_.

Yes, she had her own house now in adulthood, and she could have gone there when she left work, but something deep within said she needed to come here. She needed to be built back up again. She needed to talk to her mother like figure.

Looking at a photo of her and her Aunt Liz from the past Fourth of July, Alex smiled, lightly touching the frame. Her own parents had taken the photo of them having a sparkler battle. Smirking at the memory she recognized she rarely saw her parents unless they came here or they met somewhere else.

"Alexandra," her aunt's voice caught her from the side, "is everything okay?"

Turning towards the older blonde, she shook her head no. "But I need a glass of wine before I tell you all about it."

"Then it's time to cook dinner," Liz said as she turned and headed to the kitchen. "I was planning on making my chicken gnocchi soup. Is that agreeable?"

"Absolutely, but I don't know how much of an appetite I have..." she drew out as she pulled the wine bottle from the fridge. "I met someone."

"You did?" Her aunt replied with a little hint of excitement in her voice.

Fixing the rather large glass of Chardonnay, she stood over the sink and took a long sip. "Yeah, it was so ridiculous..."

Pausing to assess her seemingly frazzled niece, she pried, "Why is that?"

"Well, first she's my new counterpart for middle school language arts. Second, she's seven years younger than me..."

"What's the problem with that?"

"Umm, getting fired and she's a child."

"You're a child," Liz deadpanned. "And maybe it's time for that school to lighten up a little."

"Well, it doesn't matter either way now," Alex said as she took another long sip of her wine.

Liz stared at her as she picked the chicken pieces apart. "What changed it all? I call bull shit on the first two reasons. My Alex wouldn't let age and location really stop her, so what is it?"

"Her brother is Adrian."

Liz stopped working and stared silently at her niece for a moment. "Did she do something?"

"No, she's been perfectly wonderful. Funny, sweet, and I am fairly certain she was flirting back with me."

"Are you certain it wasn't a game?"

Alex took another long sip of the golden oak flavored liquid. "It wasn't a game. She doesn't even know."

"How do you know?" Her aunt demanded.

"I saw a picture of him in her apartment. I asked who it was, and she confirmed."

"Confirmed what?"

"That he was her brother, Adrian. It was a completely nonchalant answer. Just like I would reply if someone asked me who Sam or Amanda were..."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," Liz said as she moved to her nieces side, "How did she react when you told her?"

Biting her tongue, the younger blonde rolled her head towards her confidant, "I didn't. What would the purpose be? We are just colleagues." As she finished, she walked to the back door leading the the vegetable garden, "I'm going to get some spinach for the soup. I think the air might help me process."

Walking outside, Alex took a long breath before slowly letting it out. Looking up at the wildly changing colors in the early evening sky, she frowned. She wasn't sure what she'd ever exactly done wrong to endure all the pain she had. She knew it was unhealthy thinking and for that reason she forced the negative thoughts from her mind.

However, as much as she always tried, she couldn't help but feel like the world was against her periodically. This time, she'd actually found a girl she was genuinely interested in and her arch nemesis gets in her way. Reaching the spinach, she knelt into the cool earth.

As her knees sunk into the soil, the image of Casey and Adrian flashed through her head. She cringed at the memory as his sinister laugh. He'd been cruel and calculated with every attack.

He'd tormented her. But before that, he'd been a regular face in the hallway. Just another boy. Until he'd found out she was gay.

One of his buddies had caught her hidden in the stacks in the back of the library kissing a girl. The other cheerleader wasn't like her, but it hadn't stopped the curious fooling around. Yet, when they were confronted by the boys, the girl had blamed her for the entire thing, claiming she'd been forced into the action.

From that moment forward, they'd made it their mission under Adrian's leadership to harass her nonstop.

They managed to get every girl in their grade to stop talking to her. They would call her all hours from different numbers offering to help her _see_ just what she was missing out on. They threw red paint in her face in art. They cornered her numerous times touching her arms or legs while saying they could fix her. And in the end, they framed her for stealing a test answer key which effectively got her expelled.

While Adrian hadn't crossed the line directly, he'd made it clear in other ways that he was the mastermind behind the other boys. For months, she and her parents had begged the headmaster to do something, but the man kept arguing that Alex had brought it upon herself by being openly gay in a Catholic community. That the boys were in a way trying to save her from her sins. He had tried to stop the harassment some, but even her parents started to side with the headmaster until she was expelled.

Forcing the memories from her mind, she collected the spinach and headed back to the house. She had to figure something out. She'd begged Branch to move down to middle school. She'd wanted to help the younger kids grow intellectually, so she was effectively stuck now. She'd have to make the best of it.

* * *

Driving towards home that evening, Alex felt like she was becoming unhinged. Adrian seemed to invade her thoughts every few minutes. She needed to regain control.

Taking a deep breath, she replayed her aunt's words through her mind praying to find the clarity she needed...

" _Alexandra, you just need to tell her. She isn't her brother. And remember what you say every year in your seminar, bullies can change. He might be a different person now. Casey might not even know what kind of person he used to be. Clear the air."_

" _I don't know if I can," she admitted._

" _What are you afraid of? He can't hurt you any longer. He's old news..."_

And that is when it hit her full force, like a car flying out of control into a wall...

Adrian couldn't hurt her any longer. He was old news. He had no power over her. But she could hurt him. She could hurt him through Casey.

Remembering the picture, Alex smiled. The siblings looked close in the picture, so that's how she would do it. She would make Casey fall for her then she'd break her heart. Casey would tell her big brother about the awful blonde that had crushed her, and he would know he was responsible for it.

It was the perfect plan.

* * *

Casey stood singing in her kitchen as she opened a frozen pizza for dinner. She'd intended on cooking a real meal, but had decided to be lazy instead. After all, she'd spent most of the afternoon trying to figure Alex out.

Preheating the oven, she walked back to her sitting area to collect her empty coffee mug. Looking towards her closet, she realized she'd eventually have to figure out what to wear to work the next day. It was at that exact moment she heard the familiar buzz of her phone.

Walking to her nightstand, she fetched it from its charging dock, smiling as she recognized the name on the screen she answered, "Hey Alex!"

She was relieved to hear a happy hello back...


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: My apologies for the wait. Turns out the flu is a very real thing...not that I ever doubted its existence, but I currently have a new respect for it since it's kicking my ass. Forgive the typos and any confusion in the chapter. If you have questions please ask, and I will address them in my next author's note. I will be home a few more days, so I hope to get another chapter out soon!

* * *

One week later...

Casey pulled into her assigned spot in the St. Francis faculty parking lot. To say she was nervous for her first day teaching would have been an understatement. She was terrified.

Letting out a long sigh, she attempted to pull some inner strength forward when she noticed a familiar blonde walking towards her car. As usual, her cohort was breathtaking. Blonde hair down and blowing gently in the light breeze, navy top that fit perfectly, and green pants that highlighted her long legs, all finished off with tan ballet flats.

Watching as Alex stopped short and boldly grinned at her, Casey finally noticed the two coffees in her hands. The smile made Casey thankful she was still sitting, because she felt weak in the knees at the sight of it.

Climbing from the car, she greeted, "Why Ms. Cabot, are you bringing me liquid courage?"

"Of course I am," the older woman replied as she handed one over.

Casey beamed at her mentor, "Thank you."

Placing a hand on her cohorts shoulder, she gave a light squeeze, "Anytime..."

The two women stayed in the precarious position for a second before breaking apart. Alex was the first to turn towards the building, "So, are you ready for the day?"

"Not in the least. I just hope to make it through without running out of the building screaming."

"Well, that will be a successful day for sure!" Alex chuckled. She liked how easy conversation was with Casey. The redhead always had a way of genuinely making her laugh. It was something few people ever really accomplished.

Biting her lip for a second to gain focus and control, Alex continued, "Umm, do you have plans after school today?"

"Yes," Casey excitedly exclaimed, "I offered to help with the dance team."

"You did? When did that happen?"

Casey looked to her puzzled counterpart, "I ran by the front office yesterday on my way out and overheard the dance teacher saying she needed extra help this semester with her team since it was larger. I offered to help since I used to -"

"Dance," Alex filled in, "How very noble and helpful of you."

Watching as the early morning sun lit up Casey's hair, Alex wondered what she was actually doing. She had a plan she needed to stick with, a mission to complete, but Casey was shockingly kind and beautiful. She couldn't help but wonder if she'd be able to control herself.

Reaching the front gate, Alex paused, "Well, I will send you on your way. I have to run by Branch's office before school starts."

"Okay," Casey responded as a slight look of worry overtook her face. "I'll see you in the rooms."

* * *

Standing alone in her classroom with the first period bell about to ring, Casey moved to her desk to arrange for the day. She had her power point finished, and room organized as well as it could be without students. Silently she prayed for the strength to make it through her first day of solo teaching.

"Knock, knock," interrupted a warm familiar voice from the shared office, "I noticed that you seemed to be overwhelmed with last minute jitters."

Biting the tip of her tongue, Casey examined Alex. She couldn't help but wonder why she found her co-teacher so attractive. "Just a little bit."

"Keep in mind," the blonde soothed, "you'll only be teaching two class periods before you get a break for planning. Then you will teach your last three classes."

"So, don't freak out because I just have to make it for two class periods, then you'll pick me up, dust me off and send me back into the trenches?"

"Chin up, Buttercup!" Alex said as she tapped Casey's chin, "They aren't that scary. You'll do just fine."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Smirking at the redhead, she nodded, "Anytime. Get ready, they will be headed this way soon. And remember, we will have coffee third period!"

Watching Alex turn and walk out, Casey felt warmth rush through her. She was thankful to be alone, because she knew her cheeks had to be flushed. There was something so intoxicating about her counterpart. And that intoxicating feeling had her mind spinning.

Turning away from the now closed office door, Casey moved to the window to watch the arriving kids move across the campus. She just needed to remember that she had to fight her urges. She couldn't make the same mistakes she did back in college. She'd made a promise and she had to fight to keep it.

* * *

Walking into the dance studio after the last bell, Casey felt excitement begin to pump through her. She loved to dance so knowing that she would be returning to a favorite pastime filled her with joy. Letting her gym bag slip from her shoulder to her hand she called out, "Ms. Greylek?"

Out from a propped door, she heard a, "Hey!" Before the familiar brunette emerged from the back area.

The woman smiled, her sea foam green eyes sparkling with excitement, "Thank you so much for offering to help me. By the way, please call me Kim."

Casey nodded, "Okay, Kim it is..." looking around the space, she found herself confused about where to change, "Is there a locker room?"

"Oh, yeah, but the kids change back there. You are welcome to change back in my office," Kim gestured to the door she'd just left, "Just close the door and you are good. It locks behind you."

"Thank you," She replied as she hesitantly headed to the room. It had been a long day. Handling the students had been exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. She was just happy to know that now she got to do something fun with them.

Quickly changing, she headed back out to warm up with the other teacher. "So, Kim, what do your dancers do to warm up?"

"We do a round of stretches, crunches, leg lifts and leaps. After that, we begin working on different routines. Currently, we will start working on our first football routine. It will be a jazz routine."

"Okay," Casey answered as she started her own stretches before students arrived, "What would you like me to do?"

"Today, watch and learn the routine. If you feel like you can help somewhere jump in. I'm easy going. I won't mind the input."

"Sounds good."

Joining the new teacher in her stretches, Kim probed, "So, have you made lots of friends?"

"Yeah, well one, Alex Cabot. She's my counterpart in Language Arts."

"I forgot she moved to middle school. She's nice. Kind of a loner though. Do you all hang out?"

Casey frowned at the remark. She wouldn't have taken Alex for a loner ever. "We have a couple of times."

"Interesting..." Kim said as she stretched her hamstrings. "I guess I misread her."

"Guess so..." Casey responded as she thought the comment over more in her head. She wondered why the blonde would have come off a loner, yet pay so much attention to her. She couldn't help but wonder if it was because Alex liked her too. The thought made her instantly flush in the face.

"Casey, are you okay?" Kim jarred her thoughts.

Realizing that Kim had caught her made her blush even more. "Yeah, it's just hot in here..."

Kim looked at her new co-teacher. Something about her had changed when she'd mentioned Alex. But before she could ask anymore questions the dance team arrived and soon the room was overflowing with excited chatter.

* * *

Alex stood in the center of the front courtyard of St. Francis. She'd been headed to the faculty parking lot when a former student caught her attention. The young girl had always reminded her of herself, and when she'd spotted her sitting on a bench seemingly distressed, she knew she had to stop.

The young blonde by the name of, Meghan, looked up with sad eyes as she approached. Only a faint smile filled her face when she saw her former teacher, "Hey, Ms. Cabot."

"Hey, kiddo," she responded as she set her bag down and took a seat. "Why do you look so forlorn?"

"It's stupid."

"Nothing is stupid. So, dish. I'll happily stay and listen until your mom comes to pick you up."

The young girl smiled, "You are like my teacher 'Mom.'"

Alex laughed at the sentiment, a huge smile filling her face. "Well, I think your Mom is pretty cool, so I'll take that as a huge compliment."

Meghan beamed, "My best friend, Ellen, moved. She's going to live in Connecticut. I just miss her."

"Ah, that is big news. I guess her Dad got a new job?"

"Yeah, so they moved. Now, who will I hang out with..."

"Well," Alex thought, "First, you'll make new friends. And," she paused noticing Meghan's tennis bag, "You still have your tennis teammates. And, with today's technology, you'll be able to talk to Ellen daily. Face to face even!"

Meghan nodded, "Yeah, I guess you are right."

Bumping the young girls shoulder with her own, Alex soothed, "So, when you get home, here's homework. FaceTime Ellen and discuss your first day of school in length."

Seeing the girl's mother's Volvo SUV come around the bend, Alex stood. "And tell Ellen I said hi. It will all be okay in the end."

"Thank you, School Mom."

"Anytime, School Daughter."

Watching the young girl hop in her mother's car, Alex gave a wave hello before turning around to grab her bag. As she picked it up, she saw a dance pant clad redhead walking up.

"Why hello," she called out letting her words trail a bit.

"Oh, hey," Casey beamed as they both headed towards the parking lot.

"How was your first day?"

"It was really good actually."

Alex took in the younger teachers appearance. She couldn't lie, Casey had a very sexy figure. "I'm glad to hear it. So, you will be returning tomorrow morning?"

Casey frowned at the joke. "Yes of course."

"I'm teasing, Case."

"Oh," she laughed, "Clearly I'm tired."

"Well," Alex said as they came to a stop in front of Casey's car, "go home and take a nice long hot bath."

"I think that's just what the doctor ordered."

"So do I." Alex spoke as she let her eyes travel down Casey's body once more causing an exciting chill to run through the younger woman again. "Have a good evening, Casey."

As Alex left the redhead by her car, Casey couldn't help but think she was flirting. The thought drove her mind wild. She just wondered how long she could stay above the fray.

* * *

Sliding into the booth across from her two best friends, Alex began apologizing, "Sorry, I'm late. I got held up with a student before leaving."

"I'm just happy it was you this time and not me," Serena laughed. "I thought this one might divorce me if I was late one more time."

"Never!" Abbie exclaimed as she wrapped an arm around her blonde, "I'd be lost without you."

"You all are ridiculous," Alex joked as her phone pinged with a new message. Pulling it out of her bag, she continued, "Have you two ordered?"

"Just drinks, not food," Abbie answered before inquiring, "Was the student okay? It wasn't a situation like yours right?" as she noticed a smile form on Alex's lips.

Alex didn't notice her friends talking to her. The moment her eyes caught Casey's name on her phone, she unlocked it to read the message.

" _You were right. A hot bath did wonders!"_

Typing back, Alex responded, " _I'm usually right about these things. Enjoy your evening."_

"So..." Serena said as she drummed her fingers on the countertop gaining her friend's attention. "Who is the girl that has you blushing like a fool?"

"What are you talking about?" Alex countered.

"Are you really trying to deny this?" Abbie gaped. "Seriously, we are over here asking you about your student, and you are in your own world. So...dish."

"It's no one. Just the new teacher I work with."

Serena smiled, "And her name is?"

Putting her phone down on the seat next to her, Alex motioned for the waiter to bring her a drink. "It's nothing."

"It's something..." Abbie drew out. "But if you are going to deny it..."

Shaking her head, Alex answered the original question, "No, my student wasn't being bullied, her best friend moved."

"Well that is sad," Serena began as Alex's attention again fell to her phone as it pinged again. Rolling her eyes at her wife, Serena shook her head, "It's no one..."

Alex smiled seeing Casey's message, " _I'd enjoy it more if I had company to share my pizza and movie with! If you want to ditch your friends you know where I am!"_

" _Ha! They'd kill me. Maybe you can join us next time. :)"_ Alex text back.

"I'm going to figure this out," Abbie told Serena before snatching Alex's cell phone from her hands.

"Hey!" She exclaimed, "What are we five?"

"Well, your table etiquette seems like it today," Serena scolded her friend.

"Her name is..." Abbie said as she scanned the phone.

"Her name is Casey," Alex chided, "What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?"

"Oh, and they work together...I told you she was doing something naughty," Abbie laughed at her wife as she passed the phone back.

"You did," Serena beamed, "I tell you, Cabot, I didn't take you as a rule breaker."

"I'm not breaking rules," Alex tried to defend, "We are just friends."

"You like her," Abbie argued before taking a swing of her beer.

"No, I don't."

Serena grinned, "Then why are you beet red?"

"And why are you inviting her out with us next time if you don't?" Abbie added.

Alex paused as she felt her cheeks. They were right. "Fine," she conceded, "She's very attractive."

"And you like her," Serena sang, as Abbie followed, "You want to kiss her..."

"I hate you both," Alex groaned as she took the beer from the bartender.

"You love us," Serena laughed, "Now tell us about the mystery girl."

As Alex filled her friends in, she could feel her stomach knotting with every word. She had to admit, this plan was taking more effort than she'd anticipated. Winning Casey over meant she needed to distance her own emotions from the redhead. The only problem was the younger teacher was unbelievably irresistible...and she was beginning to question her own strength.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This should be interesting...

* * *

Two weeks later...

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Alex examined her outfit in the mirror. She'd been working hard to win Casey over the last few weeks and finally they were going to dinner tonight. It wasn't a date, just an outing as friends, but that didn't change her intentions.

Looking at how her jeans and her blouse fit combined with her favorite flats, she nodded in approval at her appearance. She felt that she looked sexy and sleek. She could only hope that Casey felt the same, but then again that was half the battle for her.

Turning to the vanity, she touched up her lipstick as she thought the last few weeks over in her mind. She didn't doubt that Casey was into women, or at least curious enough to play along with the flirting and casual advances. The difficult part was sensing that the redhead kept these feelings bottled up. It added a sense of forbidden pleasure to the whole game.

Pausing to see her finished reflection, she realized it had been a long time since she'd put so much effort into making herself up for a date. The thought made her stomach twist. She genuinely liked Casey, but Casey wasn't her end game. Getting even with Adrian was...

Hearing her phone ping with an alert, she closed the door to her thoughts and fished the device from the counter. Seeing the woman that filled her thoughts name on the screen she smiled softly and unlocked it.

" _I'm ready when you are!"_ The message read.

Grinning big, Alex quickly typed, " _Good! I'm about to leave the house. I can't wait to see you..."_

She'd planned the whole evening, but disguised it as a simple dinner out. Her ultimate goal was to have Casey melting for her by sunrise. She figured it should be easy enough. She had a feeling that the redhead didn't have a lot of dating experience.

* * *

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Casey felt her heart rate nearly triple at the sight of Alex's response. Feeling her hands tremble slightly, she read through the message once more. Specifically the last line...

" _I can't wait to see you..."_

Swallowing thickly, she began to wonder if Alex meant it in a flirtatious way. Falling back onto her bed, she stared at the ceiling. Her heart was a mess. Her head was a disaster. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel.

Closing her eyes, she could still picture her sorority sister, Stephanie. She could easily remember the night they'd gotten drunk over the spring break beach trip and hooked up. Then the horror filled shock on her face in the morning when she'd confessed her feelings for the brunette.

Evidently, drunken hook ups between 'sisters' wasn't abnormal. The abnormal part was that Casey had genuine romantic feelings for her. The reaction had her instantly shunned from the rest of the girls since they didn't understand her emotional attachment. The problem was only made worse since she'd been bottling these romantic feelings for months, so her devastation at being rejected was very real.

Things had been so bad that she'd driven home one night. Looking for solace, she'd gone straight to her family church and confessed to the priest. She felt she needed the spiritual guidance and didn't want to confess her feelings to her parents. She already knew their stance on homosexuality.

The priest had listened and counseled her. Explaining that while it was a true sin, she wasn't supposed to act on unnatural urges. Therefore, if she couldn't find gratification in a husband then she was supposed to live a life in chastity. She took her penitence and headed home.

However, despite the priests vow to keep her confession to himself, her family had discovered her actions at the beach. And that's when the real issues began...

" _Do you want to spend eternity in hell?"_ _Her father's voice has boomed._

 _She looked at him, a frown of pure sadness filling her face. "No!"_

" _Then what were you thinking!" He yelled. He didn't seem angry with her for her actions, just more distressed by her potential eternal damnation._

" _Casey," her mother attempted to soothe through her tears, "Promise me. Please promise me that you will never act that way with a woman again. You know what it means...it's consequences..."_

 _Casey closed her eyes at her mother's words. She didn't agree. She didn't believe the church's beliefs. She didn't believe that she'd go to hell for being with women. And at this moment she greatly regretted talking to the priest, but now being face to face with her two terrified parents she didn't want to let them down. She just prayed her brother would step up and stop this insanity._

 _Opening her eyes, she looked past her parents and to her brother. "Adrian?"_

" _What?" He snapped._

 _Her parents fell silent, watching their exchange. Seemingly hoping he'd get through to her._

" _Do you agree?" She choked out._

 _He sighed at her. A sense of disgust with her actions bitterly evident. "Yeah. I do. So, if you can't fix yourself, then be prepared to destroy your whole life. And if you can't change...then I can't see you as my sister."_

 _His eyes bore holes through her. She felt destroyed and hollow. Without much a fight, she whispered, "I promise. I won't be with women anymore."_

She'd held true to her promise. She'd avoided all interactions with any women that she found attractive. She even attempted dating a boy for a few months her junior year of college. But despite her efforts, she didn't feel a real connection to men.

Finally, her senior year of college she'd decide to just live in chastity. It had worked well for her. She was happier and less conflicted.

But then she met Alex Cabot.

Something about Alex made her want to give that promise up. It made her want to risk everything. She wanted to play with fire.

But then she worried that Alex wasn't really into her. That she'd embarrass herself like she did in college. And what would be worse is it would cost her a job, not just a seat in a sorority.

Hearing a knock at the door, Casey's thoughts and concerns faded. She sat up and straightened out her clothes, before grabbing her bag. She'd figure out eternity later.

Right now a beautiful blonde was waiting for her...

* * *

Looking across the table at her dinner partner, Alex Cabot found her breath stolen. Casey wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. She was merely scanning a dessert menu, but there was something breathtaking in the whole event.

Maybe it was the amount of wine they'd consumed over dinner, but the redhead seemed even more attractive than when Alex had picked her up. Her short choppy hair hung forward, and her loose fitting sweater had a shoulder exposed. The milky skin that peaked out seemed so inviting. And her innocence seemed to scream for Alex to take it.

But the inner battle waging inside of her wasn't making it easy. Part of her wanted Casey just for revenge, and the other part wanted her just because she admired and truly liked her. But she had to remind herself of the end goal. Hurting Adrian as he'd hurt her.

But then Casey was so different from him...

Picking up her glass of wine, Alex sighed before taking a long sip. She needed clarity even if it was at the end of a glass. She needed to refocus her mind and goals.

"Are you okay?" Casey interrupted her thoughts.

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem distracted..."

"Oh," Alex gasped. She hadn't meant to get so in her head that she gave the impression of not enjoying herself. "I'm sorry. I was stuck in my stupid mind."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Honestly?"

Casey smirked, "Yeah, otherwise I wouldn't have asked."

"Well, aren't you comical..." Alex trailed as she brushed her fingertip around the rim of her glass. "I was thinking about you."

"Me," Casey righted, "What about me?"

"About how I'd like to go for a walk with you..."

"To where?" Casey countered her interest peaking.

Alex leaned close, gesturing for the redhead to do the same. Once Casey's ear was near her mouth, Alex whispered, "It's a surprise."

As they separated, Alex couldn't help but notice the blush that covered Casey's cheeks. She loved noticing just how much she seemed to affect the redhead. Smiling at the bashful younger woman, she asked, "Would you be up for an adventure?"

"Um," Casey hesitated clearly seeming as if she weren't certain of herself. However before Alex could prod, she found confidence and affirmed, "Yes. I'd love to go."

"Great!" Alex beamed, "I'll get the check and we can go."

* * *

Walking out into the warm evening air, Alex tried to keep close to Casey as she led the way. Once on her feet, she realized she was far more intoxicated than she had initially realized. Now, trying to remember the way to her favorite spot in the dark with a muddled mind seemed a tad bit daunting.

"Okay," she attempted to mentally map, "We need to go that way!" As she finished her statement, she pointed her finger out into the air as if she were an explorer marking his route.

Casey laughed at the silly blonde, "Are you sure you are sober enough to lead the way through those dark woods?"

Alex turned towards the younger woman, "Just because I maybe tipsy does not mean that I can't find my way."

Again Casey laughed at her, however it didn't seem to bother Alex as much as she would have thought. There was something about the way the redhead scrunched her face, and the throaty sound filled the air as it left her. It was a sound Alex found herself wanting to hear more of each time it escaped those full red lips.

Reaching out, she gently took the younger woman's hand in her own, and in a soft voice she assured, "Come on, it's a really magical place and soon we won't be able to go."

Casey's jubilant tone didn't leave her, she merely looked into deep blue eyes and agreed, "Okay, I trust you. Let's go."

Holding Alex's hand, she let her lead the way. Through the trees and to an overgrown path that was hidden through the brush. She knew somewhere inside her fear should be building, but she didn't seem to find it. Instead, she felt full of excitement.

"I kind of feel like we are taking the road less traveled!" She excitedly whispered.

"I wish I could say it was, but in actuality I've traveled this road hundreds of times before..." Alex confessed, "Just not in about 12 years..."

"Where are we going?"

"To my favorite place in the world."

Knowing that Alex was taking her someplace special made her stomach do excited flips. Recognizing the fact that she hadn't let go of her hand, and their intense close proximity had her heart nearly beating through her chest. She knew she was standing on dangerous ground, but she couldn't stop herself. She wanted to see where all of this was going.

Soon she had her answers as Alex led her to a quiet opening. A lake stood hidden in the midst of these woods and the overgrown path had led them right to it. The moon illuminated the whole area as if they'd been provided a light from space.

Looking around, Casey couldn't see anything but the beach around the lake, a floating dock about 100 yards offshore, the darkened woods, and thousands of stars overhead. In the moonlight it looked beautiful. She could only imagine how stunning it must look in the daytime.

"Wow," she breathed letting go of the blonde's hand and looking above in a circular fashion, "This is really something."

Sitting in the sand, Alex motioned for Casey to join her. "I'll take it that you enjoy it."

She didn't need to be asked again, plopping down in the sand next to her, she continued, "Absolutely. It's breathtaking. Have people forgotten it?"

"Not really, just funding hasn't allowed it to be kept up."

Casey looked at Alex's face. She couldn't help but notice just how beautiful the blonde was even in the moonlight. "That's a shame."

"Yeah, it is." Alex agreed as she looked into dark green eyes. Noticing a lock of hair that partially blocked one, she brushed the offending strands from the redheads face before smiling softly. "Want to go for a late night swim?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, we used to swim in our underwear all the time in high school."

"I get it in high school, but aren't you afraid you might get caught?" Casey asked as she sat up.

This time it was Alex's turn to laugh. "You did see the trail in, right?"

However, she didn't wait for an answer, instead she stood and carefully began to remove her blouse. The action quickly had the younger woman scrambling to her feet.

"You are serious, serious."

Standing in just a bra and jeans, Alex turned to look at her counterpart. She was genuine in her concern for the younger woman, "I just thought it would be fun. We don't have to swim if it really makes you uncomfortable. I guess I always figured swimming in underwear wasn't any different than swimming in a bikini."

Realizing the innocence in the whole action, Casey forced her head to calm itself, "No, lets go. It will be fun. I just have a really lame fear of dark water."

"Really?" Alex deadpanned.

"Yes," the redhead admitted as she removed her sweater top, "Blame Jaws."

Laughing full heartedly, Alex attempted to assure, "There are no sharks here."

"Thanks."

Getting down to their underwear, they made the short distance to the cool dark water. Soon they were knee then waist deep. It didn't take long for Alex to leave Casey standing there as she pushed out into the deep swimming without hesitation. It was only when she reached the floating dock and turned back that she noticed her counterpart still standing in the same spot.

"Case, I promise it's fine."

"Okay, I know I seem like a wimp, but I'm good really."

Doing the breaststroke back to her friend, Alex called out, "You're a bad liar."

"Maybe on the subject of swimming in dark water..."

Standing back in the shallow water, Alex walked up to her. "I promise you have nothing to fear out here but me."

"Why should I fear you?" Casey asked in a husky sounding voice, before swallowing thickly at the proximity of the woman she couldn't stop dreaming about.

Alex leaned in close to her cheek and whispered, "It's just a saying," as she let her fingers barely brush against Casey's stomach.

As dark green eyes met dark blue ones, she shook her head, "Now you are the bad liar. Tell me. Why should I fear you?"

Alex smirked at her as she took a step back, "You'll have to catch me first!"

With that Alex jumped back into the water and took off swimming back to the dock. However, this time Casey didn't stay standing in the shallows. She wanted her answers so she followed Alex to the dock, quickly out swimming her.

Gasping for air, Alex laughed, "So you can swim."

"Very well," Casey affirmed.

"Good," Alex laughed, "I would have felt like an asshole if you couldn't."

Before she could register what was happening Casey had her backed against the side of the floating dock with an arm on each side of her. The redhead seemed to be staring at her intently, but she couldn't be fully sure. Suddenly, she felt her pulse accelerate. "What?" She whispered.

"You never answered my question," Casey whispered as one hand let go of the dock and lightly traveled the length of Alex's outstretched arm.

She found it hard to focus. The redhead's touch was light but full of intent. "What was your question?"

"Why should I fear you?"

"Because..."

"Because why?" Casey asked as she let her fingers entwine with Alex's.

"Because this is dangerous," Alex whispered honestly as she pulled her fingers from Casey's, before wrapping her arm around the redhead's waist and pulling her close. "And I'm finding it increasingly hard to resist you."

Casey's breath hitched in her throat at the sudden contact of Alex's body pressed against her own. Their faces were a mere inches apart, and she could feel Alex's breath against her lips. "Then don't."

With that Alex dipped her head and pressed her lips against Casey's gently. The kiss was small and sweet. Breaking apart, she whispered, "Are you sure you don't want me to fight my urges?"

"Yes," was all the younger woman could get out before Alex recaptured her lips this time in a more passion filled kiss.

Wrapping her legs around the Alex's waist, Casey tangled her hands in blonde locks. She let all her senses be absorbed in the moment of being overtaken by the amazing woman that had challenged her. It was only when Alex lost her grip on the dock and they sank below the waters surface did the two part.

Reaching the surface, Casey took a deep breath of air. It was like taking the first breath of air after years of being locked up. The feeling was completely unnatural and overwhelming. Turning in the water to see the woman she'd just been tangled with climbing out onto the dock gesturing for her to join her she paused.

"I'm sorry, Alex," she whispered hating the look of confusion that filled the blonde's face. "I just can't."

With that she turned and swam back to shore. She wasn't surprised that Alex didn't follow her. She really didn't even find it shocking when she took the whole walk back to her apartment alone. She didn't blame the blonde. She just wished Alex had come after her and told her she was being ridiculous...

* * *

Alex lay flat on the dock looking up at the stars, trying to think of anything but the look on Casey's face as she said, "I just can't."

It hurt her, and she didn't know why.

So, she'd stayed strong. She'd let the young redhead leave on her own. She'd let her dress in peace. Alex Cabot was capable of being human.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself. In truth, right now she was questioning her human side. She had intended on kissing Casey tonight. It had been part of her plan. She just hadn't intended everything to go how it did.

Once Casey was well out of sight, Alex sat up and let herself fall back into the cool water. It didn't take long for her to reach the shore and dress. Her walk took even less time. And before long, she found herself standing at her car.

Standing at the drivers side door, she looked up to an apartment window she knew belonged to Casey. She'd planned the whole evening out. She just hadn't planned on wanting Casey Novak as much as she did. And that was a real problem...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, I am officially on break! In other words, you should get a few more updates this week. :) Enjoy this one in the meantime!**

* * *

Alex opened the front door of her home to enter the blustery Halloween morning. The sky was still grey although the weather report called for blue skies later after daybreak. The trees were a myriad of oranges and reds marking that autumn was fully upon them. It was a stark contrast to a few weeks ago when she'd taken Casey out to the lake.

Back when they were friends…

Taking a deep breath of the cold air, she stepped across the threshold of her home. Closing the door behind her and securing the lock, she made the short walk to her car. It would take a bit to heat the interior today, but she didn't mind the cold. In a way she felt like it mirrored her heart.

Opening the back door of the car, she tossed her bag full of costume supplies inside. After work she would be heading to Serena and Abbie's house for their annual Halloween party. They'd promised her a good time and ensured that she could meet some _new_ people.

One of the last times she and Serena talked she'd mentioned that she and Casey were no longer hanging out. So, something in her friend's tone of voice at the prospect of introducing her to _new_ people told her it was a potential setup. Sighing as she climbed into the cold leather seat, Alex had to be honest with herself. She did not want to meet someone new.

Putting her car in reverse, she began the ten-minute drive to work. She'd never dreaded going to work, but ever since that night at the lake she'd felt tremendous anxiety about it. While she wanted to pretend that Casey's rejection hadn't hurt her, in all truthfulness it did. If she was being truthful with herself, she'd fallen hard for the redhead.

It was an unsettling realization though. One that she'd fallen for her younger co-teacher. Two that the woman in question's brother was her arch enemy. And three that she'd plotted revenge against said arch enemy using the woman she'd fallen for as the weapon.

Coming to a stop at a red light, she laid her head against the steering wheel. The whole thing seemed like a bad Shakespearean play. "A pair of star crossed lovers…" she muttered to herself.

A loud horn from behind shook her back to the task at hand. Continuing the drive to work, Alex started to wonder if she hadn't decided to be so aggressive in her pursuit of Casey would she have been able to win her over the right way. However, she couldn't help but wonder how kissing her had run the redhead off so fast.

The whole night had gone astray. Her original plan had been to take Casey to dinner, and then out for drinks. She'd hoped to sleep with the younger woman and go ahead and crush her in the morning. Treat it like a one-night stand kind of deal…but then something changed. More like everything had changed.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the weather. Either way over dinner she'd changed her mind and decided to take Casey to the lake. And once there she was doomed to failure. She'd let her real feelings overwhelm her.

Seeing the old stone gates of St. Francis Prepatory come into view, Alex felt as if her throat began to tighten. She suddenly recognized the car in front of hers. It was Casey's.

This is what things had become due to her actions. A fun teaching relationship turned cold. It was the first time in her life she'd made such a stupid mistake. Casey only asked her for help if she desperately needed something. Their planning period had turned to a stiff engagement where Casey did very little talking. And Alex couldn't remember the last time Casey had even looked her in the eyes.

If she was being one hundred percent honest with herself, she couldn't be sure which injury was worse: Adrian's bullying or losing Casey.

Parking her car, she sat and watched the redhead vacate hers and run towards the building. Casey wasn't dressed in her usual pants and blouse. Today she was in a skirt with stockings and a sweater. Alex wondered if she had plans after work, and if so with whom those plans were made.

But in the end, she knew she had no one to blame but herself. If she'd approached the situation better, she might be going to Abbie and Serena's party with Casey. Not being setup on a potential blind date. And surely not wondering who Casey was going out with…

* * *

"Ms. Novak!"

Casey looked up from the student she was working with to register who needed her attention. Seeing the young teen in the corner with his hand raised she stood and headed to his desk. "Yes, Liam?"

The brown haired blue eyed twelve year old looked at her with embarrassed red cheeks. "I lost my copy of Animal Farm."

"So, you can't do the assignment," she stated as she looked to her bookshelf. All her copies were gone; she'd only have one choice. "Did you leave it in another classroom?"

"No ma'am," he quietly responded as he looked down at his hands, "I left it in my room at home."

Casey felt for the boy. He never usually forgot things, and was clearly distraught. Looking towards Alex's room she knew what she had to do. "Well, the good news is you didn't lose your copy. You just forgot it. Let me see if I can work something out for you."

Swallowing hard, she walked to the office door, slipping through their shared space and into Alex's room. Her students were working on an essay for the last novel. Looking around the room, she quickly spotted her counterpart leaning over a student's desk.

Walking towards the blonde, Casey couldn't help but stare. Alex looked beautiful today. Her golden hair was down and she wore her black framed glasses. She had a black long sleeved shirt on with black and grey checked pants. And Casey couldn't help by eye her like prey.

She wanted Alex Cabot. She'd tried to run away from her, but ever since that night at the lake all she could think about was that kiss, and the feeling of Alex's warm body pressed against hers. There was no doubt this working relationship would be the downfall for her.

"Ms. Cabot," she finally spoke quickly gaining the blonde's attention.

"Yes," Alex breathed as she looked up to see Casey in her room. She wasn't sure how long her cohort had been there, but she was happy to see her nonetheless.

"Do you have a copy of Animal Farm that one of my students could borrow for the class period?"

Alex wasn't sure what she'd imagined Casey to come to say, but when the request came for the book her heart sank. "Yeah, you can just take a copy off the shelf."

As much as she'd been trying to avoid looking into those blue eyes, she couldn't help but recognize the hurt on Alex's face. It pained her to see her that way. She figured the blonde would be upset by the rejection, but she didn't know it would be this bad.

Turning to the bookshelf, Casey fetched the needed novel and left. She wanted to look back, but she also didn't want Alex to know just how much she regretted running from her that night. She was trying to be strong.

* * *

As her last students left the classroom for the day, Casey lounged back in her chair looking out the window. It didn't seem like too long ago that Alex had told her it was the best view of campus. The memory of the blonde helping her arrange her classroom seemed bittersweet now.

She knew she was being stupid.

Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket she pulled it free sighing when she saw her brother's name. She loved her brother, but he was the last person she was interested in talking to right now. Swiping the screen to answer, she said, "Hey, Adrian."

"Hey, you don't sound so thrilled to be speaking with me," his deep voice resonated through the line.

"I'm just tired is all," she lied, "What's up?"

"Well, I wanted to make sure you were still coming to Dad's birthday dinner tonight. I have a surprise for you."

His thoughtfulness made her smile, "Yeah, I'm getting ready to leave work in a few minutes actually. It will still be a few hours before I make it there, but I should be arriving around six thirty."

"Good!" he laughed, "I'd hate for you to miss out."

"Well alright," she chuckled, "I'll see you in a few hours."

Disconnecting the call, she wondered what her brother's surprise gift could be. It was unlike him to do genuinely nice things for people, especially her. Smirking at the dark phone she laid it on her desk. In a few hours she'd know.

Standing she walked towards the office. She'd left her bag in there earlier and needed to retrieve it before heading to the City. Although, opening the door she found something she didn't expect.

Alex Cabot was getting dressed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Casey exclaimed as she covered her eyes while turning to leave.

"Oh my God, don't be so dramatic," the blonde scoffed as she began buttoning her white blouse. "I'm just putting my Halloween costume on. Plus, you've seen more of me than this already."

Casey sighed as she dropped her hands and looked directly at the blonde. "You are right, but I was also shocked to see you standing in the office in tights and a bra. What are you supposed to be?"

Alex couldn't help but smirk at the redhead as she put on her white button up shirt, she'd worked so hard to avoid eye contact with her, but now it seemed as if Casey had forgotten all about it. She couldn't seem to take her eyes off of Alex. Picking up her skirt, she answered the younger woman, "I'm going as a Hogwarts student. Ravenclaw of course…"

"Ah, because you are intelligent, creative, love learning and are full of wit."

Alex laughed as she picked up her tie, "I like to think so. Would you be a Ravenclaw?"

"Yes," Casey smiled as she watched the blonde fumble like a fool with her tie. "Do you know how to tie a tie?"

"No, but I've watched enough people tie them before. I figured that I could manage to get it." Facing the mirror, Alex kept trying to loop it around hopelessly.

"Let me help," she sighed as she walked up behind the blonde placing a hand on either side of the silk fabric. Moving her hands deftly, she continued, "I picked up the knack of tying them a long time ago."

As she finished it, she checked the length before letting her hands rest at Alex's waistline. Staring into the mirror, she locked her green eyes with blue. She couldn't pull away, and to be honest she didn't want to pull back. For the first time in weeks she felt like she was right where she needed to be.

"Casey," Alex whispered breaking eye contact and looking to the floor. She was ashamed. She wasn't sure how to begin but she wanted to right all the wrong she had committed.

"Don't," Casey murmured as she turned Alex around to face her.

They were again too close for safe distance. Casey could feel the warmth radiating from Alex's body, and her hands were still against the blonde's slim waist. Leaning in closer, she could feel the blonde's breath catch in her chest as she moved her hand up her body. Tilting Alex's chin up, she leaned in and kissed the woman she couldn't stop thinking about.

It started soft, their lips gently pressed against each other, but soon Casey parted hers to take Alex's bottom one in her mouth. Softly running the tip of her tongue against it asking for entrance, quickly being granted access. Hands roaming bodies, she backed the blonde onto the countertop, loving how Alex instantly wrapped her legs around her to pull her closer. It was mere moments before Casey found her heart feeling as if it could burst from her chest.

Parting for air, foreheads pressed together, Alex attempted to talk, but Casey was lost in passion as she began to kiss down the blonde's neck. She loved the small gasps that were starting to escape her. She wanted every part of the blonde, but she also knew she had to go. She had to find her answers before she pushed this in the possible wrong direction. Not to mention, she had a long drive ahead of her. Casey felt her mind race with questions and emotions.

Pulling back slowly, she looked at the breathless blonde. Her eyes were still closed from the passion driven kiss. Recognizing the affect, she had on cohort, she whispered, "I have to go, but can we talk when I get back?"

Finally managing to open her eyes, Alex whispered, "Yes."

Casey could see the confusion and hurt recapture the older woman as she tried to pull herself together. Nodding her head as she gathered her bag, she replied, "Great, I'll call you when I'm driving back."

"Alright," Alex whispered as she watched the woman she wanted leave again.

* * *

"Alex!" Serena exclaimed as she saw her friend come up the sidewalk, "I'm glad you finally made it! You look uber sexy this evening. Is this Harry Potter related?"

"Yes," Alex nodded. She'd decided to go home and walk the few blocks to clear her head before heading to their house. Although, it hadn't worked as much as she would have liked.

The bubbly blonde grinned, "So, are you ready to meet my boss?"

"Wow," Alex muttered, "You are on warp speed this evening. How about you get me a drink first."

Walking down her front steps she frowned at her friend, "What's got you all mopey?"

"I just had a rough end to my day," Alex mumbled as she hugged her best friend hello. "I just need a drink and to decompress. Where's Abbie?"

"She's inside with Olivia," she replied before shaking her head, "That's my new boss' name."

"Ah, gotcha," Alex said with a nod, "How about that drink and an introduction. Who else is coming to this shindig?"

"Friends from work is all. Some of the other nurses, and some of Abbie's friends from her firm."

"Sounds like fun."

"You seem so thrilled to be socializing," Serena joked, "When things mellow some you'll have to fill me in on everything."

"Will do."

As Alex followed her friend into her home, she noticed she was one of the last ones to arrive. The living room was filled with nurses and accountants dressed in varying costumes. Walking to the kitchen she found Abbie playing bartender with a short haired brunette that she assumed was the new head nurse for the hospital.

"So, Alex," Serena introduced, "this is my boss, Olivia Benson."

"It's nice to meet you," Olivia said as she reached out a hand.

Taking it in a quick shake, she replied, "Likewise."

"What are you drinking, Cabot?" Abbie interjected sensing her friend was in quite a mood.

"Bourbon and ginger," Alex sighed, "I'm ready to get this party started."

"Rough day?" the new acquaintance asked.

"Something like that," she replied with a weak smile as Abbie passed her the drink.

The tan skinned brunette gave her a warm smile in return as the kitchen filled with guests coming for refills. Trying to escape the crowd, Alex moved to the den with Olivia in pursuit. Sitting in one of the arm chairs, she watched as the new face sat in one opposite. It was then that she recognized that this must be the person Serena was excited for her to meet.

"So, Alex," the brunette began, "I hear you are a teacher. What do you teach?"

She had to admire the woman's initiative. "I teach Language Arts to middle schoolers. I use to teach high school, but I wanted to reach the kids when I felt they were more impressionable."

"That's very noble. I really admire teachers. My mother was a professor of English."

"Ah, she had one up on me," Alex laughed before taking a long sip of her drink. "This is just what I needed after this afternoon."

"Was it the kids?" Olivia prodded.

"More me acting like a child," Alex admitted before finishing the drink in another long swig.

"Must have been a rough one," Olivia snorted at how fast the blonde had emptied her glass.

She could tell the brunette was losing interest, but she didn't really care. She didn't feel like she was on the market anyway. Maybe in another time she would have found this woman to be fascinating, but all she could think of was Casey.

Finally, she decided to hit things head on, "Can I possibly be crazy forward?"

Olivia smirked at her, "Sure."

"Did Serena make it out that I was available? I mean are you the person she's trying to set me up with? I know it's crazy and if I am off on left field, I am terribly sorry."

This question had Olivia laughing heartedly, "Well, if that was her intention she didn't tell me! But it would make sense…"

"Okay," Alex chuckled, "Well, now that I am slightly embarrassed…"

"Don't be," she soothed, "I mentioned to Serena that I moved here after my divorce from my wife and after that she started mentioning the upcoming party and her friend Alex. So I think I walked into the door myself."

"Well, it's not that I wouldn't normally be interested," Alex began only to pause in wondering what she was saying. Sighing she continued, "I just…it's just this girl, well woman…"

"And she's stolen your heart?"

Looking to the other woman, she nodded, "Somehow she did. And I am so in over my head."

"Listen, I get it. It's never easy." Olivia replied as she squeezed her hand lightly. "Let me go get you a refill."

Alex let the brunette take her glass and leave. Putting up her feet, she found her mind wandering to Casey. She couldn't help but wonder where the redhead had run off to tonight.

"Alright, Alex," Abbie's voice shook her from her thoughts. Looking up to her friend, she took the outstretched drink. "So," Abbie continued, "What's got you all down this evening?"

"I made a stupid mistake."

Abbie frowned, "What did you do? Does it involve the younger teacher?"

"Yes," Alex whispered as she stared out the window noticing the young trick or treaters filling the streets. "I kissed her."

"And what? Is she not into women?"

"No, I mean I don't know. I'm so confused. We've been flirting hardcore. I kissed her, and she kissed me back, but then she ran off…"

"So, that's why you all stopped hanging out?" Serena's voice interrupted.

"Join us, dear," Abbie said as she moved over to allow Serena room to sit.

"Yeah," Alex answered, "and she's been avoiding me. But then she kissed me again this evening."

"Has she been with women before?" Serena questioned.

"Oh, that's true!" Abbie added, "Maybe she's new to the women thing."

"I guess that's a real possibility." Alex admitted. She'd always noticed Casey's innocence in their interactions. "But I've complicated things even worse."

"What did you do?" Serena prodded.

"I haven't been truthful with her. And I was acting like a child."

"I don't understand," Abbie stated as she tilted her head in confusion.

"I…" Alex stumbled, "She's…"

"She's what?" They urged.

"She's Adrian's sister."

"Oh, fuck." Abbie muttered as she fell back into the chair as Serena just stared.

"And let me guess," Serena filled in, "You haven't told her what Adrian did to you?"

"No, I haven't," Alex admitted, "And what's worse, I had planned on just using her and ditching her to get back at him."

"What the fuck, Alex!" Serena snapped, "Why would you do that?"

"Have you been playing this game since you met her?" Abbie demanded.

"No!" She defended, "I fell for her first. I swear. It's just I was in her apartment after I'd already fallen for her, and I saw a picture of them, back when I knew him…and my mind just became unhinged I guess."

"And you haven't told her?" Serena questioned.

"No," Alex whispered.

"Well you need to drop this stupid plan," Abbie stated firmly. With a vote of agreement from Serena.

"I know," Alex acknowledged, "I just…"

"Hey! I found them!" one of the nurses from the hospital interrupted. "It's time to judge the costumes!"

"Oh, is it?" Serena replied as she stood, "We will continue this talk later?"

"Sure," Alex lied.

Watching her friends vacate the den, she stood. She had no intentions of staying for the party. She wanted to go home and be alone. Walking to the kitchen, she grabbed her bag, only noticing Olivia when she turned to head to the back door.

"Are you leaving?" she asked.

"More like sneaking out." Alex replied, "I just want to go home. I'm walking, I live about a block away. I'll be fine."

"Okay," Olivia said with a soft voice, "I was going to offer to drive you if it was far. I'm not a drinker."

"That would have been nice of you. Thank you. I'll call the hostess' in the morning."

"Okay," Olivia whispered as she let Alex pass by. "I hope everything works out for you and your girl."

Smiling softly, she whispered, "Thank you," before exiting the house out into the cold October night. Making her journey home, she wished she could go to her Aunt Liz's house. She felt like confessing her stupidity a little more, and she knew her aunt could offer her the guidance and solution she needed more than anyone else.

She had to find the way to make everything right and keep Casey in the end.

* * *

As Casey pulled into her parent's driveway, she let out a long sigh. Traffic hadn't been terrible to navigate, but the journey had exhausted her mentally. It was as if her brain was arguing with her heart in regards to one subject the entire journey. The subject being, Alex Cabot.

And arriving here wasn't going to make that subject any less light for her. There would be no talking about her feelings for the blonde while here. Not unless she wanted a lecture and shunning.

Climbing from her sedan, she noticed something out of place. There were one too many cars parked in the driveway. The fact puzzled her as she headed to the front door.

Reaching the door, she knocked quickly. The air seemed to be growing colder by the minute. It made her wonder if snow would be here sooner than later. Hearing a commotion on the other side of the door, she was quickly met by her mother.

"Casey, darling!" Anita Novak exclaimed as she grabbed her daughter into a tight hug. "I'm so happy you are here! Conner!" She called to Casey's father, "She's here finally. Yell to the boys outback."

"The boys?" Casey questioned as she stepped through the doorway.

"Oh yes," her mother said with a smile, "Adrian brought an old friend over with him."

"Great," she replied as she removed her coat.

"Don't you look beautiful in that outfit," her father said as he walked up giving her a big hug.

Holding on tight to her father, she felt her heartbreak a tad, "Happy birthday, Daddy." She didn't know how she could continue her behavior knowing it would hurt him.

Breaking apart, Conner Novak smiled at his daughter. "Your Mom has told me how much you are loving your job, but I have to admit I was hoping you'd hate it and move home. I miss seeing you every couple of days."

Smiling at her father, she replied, "Well, I will just try to come home more often then."

"I guess that will do."

Hearing the doorbell ring, Anita turned to grab the bowl of candy as she opened it to greet happy children in costumes. The scene reminded Casey of two things. One, Alex. And two, how she continuously hid behind a disguise.

Looking back to her dad, he shrugged, "It's the problem with being a Halloween baby. No privacy on your birthday. Hopefully, one day you won't have a baby on Halloween."

"If I ever have kids I'll be sure to tell them they can't be born on Halloween," she laughed.

"Kids!" Adrian yelled from behind her, "I didn't know you'd met someone."

"I haven't," she snorted as she turned around to find him standing with his high school best friend.

"Do you remember my old buddy, Nolan from high school?" Adrian asked as he guided his friend forward.

"Vaguely," Casey offered as she reached out to shake the tall dark haired man's hand. His eyes were shocking blue. They reminded her of Alex's bright blue ones. It made her heartache for the woman she'd left behind.

"I can't believe you don't remember him," Adrian scoffed, "You had a huge crush on him when you were little."

"I did?" She questioned confused by his insinuation. She couldn't remember having ever crushed on anyone he was friends with.

"You did," he affirmed with a bold grin that told her there wasn't much truth to his statements.

"Well, lets get to the dinner table," Anita interjected hoping to stop a sibling squabble before it began. Her two children had an amazing knack for ruining family dinners with their arguments. She could barely remember the time when they were close.

"What's for dinner, Mrs. Novak?" Nolan asked as he followed the older redhead to the dining room.

Conner frowned at his two kids. "You two clear the air before coming to my table," he instructed before following his wife from the room.

Casey looked at her brother. She was dumbfounded with his behavior. "Was this your surprise?"

"Isn't it a good one?"

"What game are you playing?" she snapped at him.

"No game," he defended, "And I'm going to take that as a no." He frowned at her, "I seriously thought you had a crush on him when we were younger. He's accomplished, single and just moved back to the area. I thought I'd be nice and try to set you up with a good man."

"Well, please stop." She said flatly. Something in his eyes said he was lying, "I'll find my own dates. And plus, tonight should be about Dad not us."

"Fine," he folded as he walked to the dining room.

Shaking her head, Casey could only imagine how much worse this evening could get. All she needed now was for them to start their preaching of immoral sin. Taking a breath, she attempted to relax as she took a seat at the table.

Luckily, it didn't take long for the atmosphere to change. Soon she was lost in happier conversations revolving around her dad and his birthday. It was good moments like these that made her stomach twist with the knowledge of her feelings for Alex.

Times like this made her feel selfish and wrong in her choices to pursue women. It was why she'd followed the law of chastity for the last few years. But then entered Alex. And she wasn't just any woman. She was something more. Every thought of her made Casey feel something. Looking at Alex made her heart race and hands shake with want.

"What are you thinking, Casey?" Nolan's voice broke through her thoughts like a hot knife.

Realizing she must be blushing, Casey laughed the whole moment off to hide her feelings, "I'm sorry, I was remembering something embarrassing from work today. I walked in on a coworker changing for a costume party."

"Oh, that is embarrassing," her father laughed.

"I'd die if someone walked in on me!" Her mother laughed as everyone chuckled a little at her cohorts expense.

"Well, Alex didn't know I was still there," She defended.

"Oh, this story got a little more interesting," Adrian laughed, "How under dressed was he?"

Not hearing him properly, Casey absentmindedly answered as she cut her tenderloin, "She was in her tights and bra."

"Wait," Adrian said in confusion, "he's a she?"

"What?" Casey looked up in confusion, "Yeah, Alex is a woman."

"Why? Do people do that to their daughters. Give them male names. It really messes with their heads," Nolan said without thinking. "Especially, the name Alex. Ugh, it reminds me of that screwed up girl from high school."

The table was silent for a moment as Casey stared at her brother's dinner guest. "I'm named after my mother's favorite uncle...Incase you weren't aware, Casey is a unisex name. And there isn't anything wrong with my Alex. She's a very kind and warm hearted woman who loves her students and family."

"I didn't mean..." he tried to course correct.

"It's fine honey," Anita stepped in to keep the peace, "We know you didn't mean anything ill by it, right Casey?"

Seeing her father's dismay and mother's panic, she caved slightly, "Yeah, I know it was just a poor choice of words."

Conversation died from that point forward. Unless they were talking to her father, they were silent. All that could be heard was the cutlery moving against the fine China, and her mother periodically getting up to treat the visiting children at the door. Which was fine, because Casey didn't want to talk to them any longer.

As the meal ended, and her parents cleaned up, Casey longed to return home, but she was too spent to make the drive. "Mom," she softly asked while they were in the kitchen drying pans, "Can I just stay the evening in my old room?"

"Absolutely," Her mother warmly agreed, "We rather you stay versus make that drive at night. You are always welcome to stay the weekend if you want to. Plus, it will always be your room."

Laughing, Casey shook her head no, "I would, but I have matters to attend to tomorrow morning."

"Well, if we can keep you for part of the time I'd love it."

Putting the last of the pans away, Casey hugged her mother goodnight enjoying the private moment.

"Thanks, Mom," she whispered before gathering her bag from the front door and heading up to her bedroom. Walking up the stairs she could hear her brother and Nolan out on the front stoop joking and saying goodbye to her father. She was happy they were leaving.

Adrian could be kind if he wanted to, but more often than not he was an asshole. And she got the feeling that Nolan was the same way after his comments about women's names. She didn't even feel the need to say goodbye to them.

Opening her bedroom door, her breath caught in her throat. Her room always seemed like a time capsule to her teenage years. Posters still on the walls, pictures of her high school friends and her...the whole thing was eerie.

Tossing her bag on the floor by the bed, she climbed up and laid back. Looking at the star covered ceiling, she couldn't help her mind from wandering back to that night at the lake with Alex. Everything about the blonde had been electrifying. The taste of the wine on her lips, the feel of her body against hers...she couldn't believe she left her behind. And now she'd done it twice.

Sighing, she pulled her phone from side pocket of the bag. Unlocking it she quickly navigated to her pictures from the last night she and Alex went out. Scanning the images, she felt as if she might break in two.

Alex looked gorgeous as always. No shock there. But the enchanting part was how happy they both actually looked in them. They actually looked cute together. Almost meant to be.

But she'd walked away from her... And now she couldn't help but wonder if Alex would be able to trust her enough to be willing to try. She may have ruined something amazing just because she was worried about upsetting her parents.

Setting the phone down, Casey thought about what she wanted to say when she got home. She knew she was playing a dangerous game, but she really wanted to try and see where things might lead with Alex. She just needed the right words and the strength to say them. Thinking everything over she felt sleep tugging at the back of her mind.

Closing her eyes, she could see the blonde and hear her laugh. There was always something so magical about her. And as Casey fell asleep, she finally felt confident in herself.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I didn't forget you. I never could! I've just been battling some problems, and working like a crazy person. Anyway, I am finally getting my head straight and finished this chapter. I hope you enjoy! ;)

* * *

"I can't believe you would plan something like that," Liz chastised her niece from across the breakfast table. "You were raised better."

Alex couldn't say a word, she knew her aunt was right in her scolding. The disappointment was more than evident on her face. "I know. I just lost my mind...until that night..."

"So, your plan came back to bite you in the end?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"That's what we call divine justice," the older blonde snorted as she picked up her coffee cup. "And now you know what you need to do."

Holding her coffee cup up to her lips, Alex stared out the breakfast nook window, out onto her aunt's gardens. They were still covered in last nights frost, but they were more than ready for winter. It was all because of the days her aunt had spent tending to each and every one of them. In a way, she wished she could be just as ready for the talk she needed to have with Casey.

"I'm scared," she finally admitted as she looked to the older blonde, "What do I do if she doesn't want me after that?"

"Unfortunately, you will have to accept that if it happens. You made this mess..."

"Can I just tell her that I know Adrian and leave it at that?"

Liz frowned at her niece, "Has dishonesty gotten you anywhere yet?"

"No," Alex sighed as she laid her head on the table.

Her aunt didn't hesitate to stroke her hair as only a mother would do to a child. "You are a strong woman, Alexandra. You will survive this, and if Casey is the woman you have made her out to be everything will work out in the end."

"I just wish I'd been honest the moment I saw that picture," Alex confessed. "I just want to talk to her. I'm tired of waiting."

"Why haven't you called or text her?"

"She said she'd call me when she was on her way home. That hasn't happened yet," she sighed in frustration as she lift her head up to look her aunt in the eyes. "I'm just trying to be patient. She wants to talk to me about us."

"Then let her," Liz said with a gentle smile. "Let her speak. If she wants to be in a relationship then you know where she stands emotionally. Then you can bare your soul. Ask for forgiveness and if she needs space let her have it. If it's meant to be she'll comeback."

"Okay," she said in almost as whisper as she looked outside once more.

Both women sat in silence for awhile. Liz didn't know if she'd ever seen her niece so hung up on a girl. It told her that this 'Casey' was clearly someone special. And for that reason alone, she prayed that it worked out for the two of them. Yet, she knew deep inside the cards were stacked against them in the worst of ways.

Finally, Alex broke the silence, "The skies are so cloudy. It looks like snow might come our way early this year."

"It's why I spent the last two weeks preparing the gardens for winter. I had to wait for the first frost to pull my bulbs. It was a nightmare, but I got it all done." The older woman replied as she poured another cup of coffee. "Now, Alexandra, do you want breakfast or is your stomach still too knotted to eat?"

She gave her aunt a wry grin, "I suppose if you are cooking I'll eat."

Laughing, Liz stood, happy to see a smile befall her niece, "Well, then breakfast it is!"

* * *

Casey drove down the bitterly cold November roads listening to her indie rock, and thinking the last hours over in her head. The short trip had been an awakening for her, and as a result, she'd stayed longer than intended. The reasoning was simple.

She was going home to tell Alex that she wanted to be with her. Yet, sadly that came with the consequences of losing her family. So, today she soaked up the possible last good times with her mother and father.

She'd tried to play it their way. Follow the church doctrine and have a 'happy' life. But it didn't work that way for her. She wasn't happy at all, and if she was being truly honest with herself, she'd been lonely.

She wanted someone to share happy and sad times with, and trying to avoid female companions had only led her to not have real friends. It was something she'd tried to deal with and be strong to maintain, but then she'd met Alex. And there was something elegant and bold about the blonde that she just couldn't resist.

She felt drawn to her. As the days turned to weeks, she'd wanted to spend more and more time with her. Then came the night at the lake. That moment where she could no longer lie to herself. Alex kissed her, and she'd kissed her back with even more desire.

And that was it. She desired Alex. She wanted to know what it was like to have her, to call her her own. And in this moment, Casey knew she could easily give up everything just to be with this woman. It was a thought that both excited and terrified her.

Spotting the road sign to the right, she noticed that Fairhaven was still 35 miles from her current location. Sighing at the remaining distance, she changed the music. Setting her phone back down, she began to mentally map out her words to a waiting blonde. She knew she'd told Alex she would call, but she really thought her message would be better if delivered in person.

* * *

Lying on her sofa next to the fireplace, Alex stared at the old beadboard ceiling. It was nearing five o'clock and Casey still hadn't called. She couldn't help but wonder if that was her answer.

Standing, Alex headed to the kitchen. She was thirty years old and trying to pursue a twenty-two year old. A twenty-two year old that was the little sister of a psycho. Shaking her head, she wondered what the hell she was thinking.

Opening the refrigerator, she pulled out the small meat and cheese tray her aunt had sent her home with and a bottle of Chardonnay she'd opened two nights ago. It was still a little early for wine, but she figured she'd be hitting the bed early tonight anyway. It didn't look like Casey was going to call.

Pouring a nice sized glass, Alex began sipping the wine while snacking. Her last meal had been breakfast and somewhere along the course of the day she'd lost track of her hunger. She almost had to laugh at herself.

"Oh my god, stop being pathetic Cabot!" She cried out as she picked up the wine, "she'd just a stupid girl. You are starting to act like a middle schooler."

Laughing at her reflection in the window, she wiped the small tears that escaped her eyes. She didn't know why all of this seemed to affect her so much. But before she had much time to ponder it, she heard a knock at the front door.

Standing in front of the sink, she took another long sip of the oaky liquid before setting the glass down. She could t imagine who'd be calling on her at five o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. Yet, as she walked towards the old farm-style front door, she found the object of her affection standing on the opposite side.

The sight of Casey instantly froze her feet to the floor. She quickly brushed her fingers through her sloppy hair, and tried to straight her clothes some. Once satisfied, she closed the gap between herself and the door.

As she opened it, she was instantly greeted with a small smile from her counterpart. "Hey, I thought you were going to call?"

"I know," Casey admitted bashfully as she looked to her shoes before quickly returning her eyes to Alex's, "I know I shouldn't have just shown up like this, but I really wanted to see you and talk to you in person."

Alex pushed the door open, stepping back to give Casey room to enter. It wasn't the first time Casey had ever been in her home, but this time seemed so much more real than the other times. It was a baffling thought.

Taking her coat, Alex motioned to the kitchen, "I just pulled out a bottle of wine, and a small charcuterie board my aunt made for me if you'd like some."

"That sounds great," Casey responded as she let Alex lead the way.

Reaching the kitchen, she leaned against the granite counters as she watched the blonde. Alex had a way about her, it was mesmerizing to watch. She just seemed so confident.

Accepting the outstretched wine glass, she softly replied, "Thank you," as she watched the blonde refill her own glass.

"I generally I don't drink this early unless it's a party," Alex admitted.

"It's okay," the redhead replied as she took a long sip, "I need a drink after the last 24 hours."

Alex frowned at Casey's words. It hadn't even occurred to her that she didn't actually know where Casey had been. "Why is that?"

"My family," she sighed. Recognizing the confusion on her cohorts face, she continued, "I was headed home to the City yesterday when I left you. I thought I'd come back last night, but things changed."

Alex swallowed thickly thinking about what Casey was saying. She'd been around the arch enemy. Shaking her head clear of childish labels, she refocused. "Is everything okay with...your family?"

"Oh, yes," she course corrected, "It was my dad's birthday. We always do a family dinner for it. It's just...everything...it's all complicated."

Alex knew this was the perfect opportunity to tell the truth, to be honest with her. But she wanted to know what Casey actually felt first. She needed to know, because if Casey didn't want to try for a relationship that was a different apology. Taking a breath, she asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Casey locked green eyes to blue, "Yes, I do, but I'm going to need another glass of wine."

Pouring off the last of the wine between their glasses, Alex led them to the living room. Adding another log to the fire, she joined Casey on the opposite end of the couch. She wanted to give her breathing room to speak, not crowd her.

"I know I need to speak," Casey began, "I just don't know exactly how to do so..."

Taking a sip of her wine, Alex watched the confused younger woman. She knew she'd been blessed to have such a wonderfully accepting family. And she really couldn't fully fathom what Casey was going through, but she wanted to support her.

"Casey," she interrupted, "may I ask you a few questions?"

A look of relief befell the redhead, "Sure."

"Do you _like_ women?"

A red blush was just evident on her cheeks through the dim lighting of the living room. "Yes, I am sexually attracted to women."

"Okay," Alex laughed, "Now more uncomfortable question. Have you ever dated a woman?"

"No," she replied more softly, "I only realized my attraction to women in college...it had never been an option before then...and well," she stared out the window onto the darkening street, "I made a mistake, fooled around with the wrong girl..."

"And it didn't end well," Alex finished her sentence easily recognizing the look on the redhead's face.

"Yeah," Casey answered. "My family found out and freaked out on me." As she finished her statement she downed the last of her wine. "So, I let their judgements and fears run my life. And I'm finished with living their way now."

Hearing the younger woman's words, Alex finished her own glass and set it down. "So, what's your plan?"

Emerald eyes captivated deep blue ones as neither woman spoke. They just took each other in from opposite ends of the couch. Finally, Casey made the first move, closing the distance between them and gently moving next to Alex.

Alex wasn't sure if it was the three glasses of wine or the mere proximity of the younger woman, but she suddenly found herself completely speechless, eyes wide and unable to decide where to look more. Casey's lips, or eyes. Both were calling to her.

"I want you," Casey whispered, "I want to be with you." And with those last words she closed the distance and captured Alex's lips again.

The soft kiss took seconds to deepen. Within moments, Casey was straddling her lap kissing down her neck. Her mind was a complete muddled mess. She didn't waste time in freeing her from her shirt and kissing more of Casey's milky white skin. She wanted all of her. She wanted to make Casey melt beneath her touch.

"Alex," the redhead panted, "should we relocate?"

As her mind registered the words, she gently guided Casey from her lap and led her upstairs to the bedroom. Closing the door behind them, she smirked at the sight of the younger woman. Hunger seemed to have overtaken her emerald eyes, as she watched Alex slip out of her jeans and sweater.

Moving to take her warm body again in her arms, Alex kissed down her neck. Mentally she knew she needed to stop and bare her soul before this went too far, but at that moment she couldn't bring herself to slow. She'd wanted this for weeks, she'd dreamt of having Casey and now she did even if things were moving at warp speed.

Pausing to unfasten her bra, she bit her lip as she got a look at the previously hidden flesh. So far everything about Casey was perfect, and now she saw just how perfect. Hearing the redhead sigh at the loss of contact, she locked eyes with deep green ones. It was easy to see just how much her absence was getting to the younger woman.

Without further hesitation, Alex moved back to her work of pleasing her partner. Sucking a taut nipple into her mouth she loved the gasp of pleasure that escaped _her_ lips. It was as if Casey had never felt such things.

Moving to the other, she teased it while letting a hand brush over the redhead's center. Feeling the younger woman press up into her, Alex smiled before beginning her slow decent down. Kissing her abdomen as she slowly slipped her leggings and underwear off, Alex only broke contact to pull them free. She wasted no time in quickly resuming her position.

Pausing for a moment, she looked at Casey's now completely naked body. She truly was a stunning woman. And just looking her over had Alex's insides burning with an intense inferno of desire.

Shedding the last of her clothes, Alex positioned herself over her silent partner. They were face to face, Casey looking deeply into her blue eyes. Alex could see a billion thoughts racing through her mind, and suddenly she needed to know, "Do you still want this?"

Tangling a hand into blonde hair, Casey pulled her lover closer exhaling sharply as her naked body connected with hers. Needing so much more, she whispered, "Yes, please," before locking lips with her again.

She let her hands explore Alex's firm body while they kissed. Pinching her nipples, traveling down her waistline, and just reaching her tight center before she again started her downward journey. The feeling of Alex's hot mouth against her breasts was more than she could have ever imagined. And as she neared where she wanted her most, Casey thought she might explode before contact was ever fully made.

She watched as Alex positioned herself between her legs, staring at her wet center, lazily running her finger tips up and down her thighs like she was planning her next steps. Feeling another rush of wetness, she twitched below her finger tips. Casey wanted to speak, to beg the blonde to proceed, but her heart was beating so fast she felt like she might float away. All she could do was spread herself further as she bit her lip.

And finally, those long fingers brushed through her wet folds causing a hiss of pleasure to escape her lips as Alex's fingertips brushed against her throbbing clit. Once, twice, and then she slipped inside only to cause her to arch up on the bed in pleasure. And before Casey could register anything, Alex's lips were against hers again.

Two fingers deep within her, moving in a way that had her senses ignited in a way she'd never known possible. And now Alex was kissing her while making her feel so insanely hot. Her body pressed against hers, her palm pressed firmly against her swollen clit. She couldn't help but roll her hips to every thrust of Alex's hand.

Breaking the kiss to look at the withering redhead, Alex couldn't help but smile in satisfaction. She hadn't imagined Casey to be so easy to please, it was a fact that she planned to capitalize on this evening. Kissing the side of her face, she whispered into the redhead's ear, "I love how turned on you are for me," as she quickened her movements.

The younger women tightened against her fingers as she hit that spot with deft precision. Alex had never paid so much attention to a lover, but she couldn't help but watch as Casey shut her eyes tight, grabbed the headboard, and arched into the bed as incoherent words and gasps escaped her lips. The tighter she became the faster Alex moved until she crashed over the edge in a wave of ecstasy.

Helping her ride out her orgasm, she kissed her gently. Only withdrawing her fingers once every quake had passed. Relishing the sigh of loss that escaped her lips as she withdrew.

Lying next to the panting woman, she felt her own desire double. Watching Casey come undone had nearly made her explode. She needed to tend to her own needs, but didn't want to make Casey feel inadequate.

Still before Alex could think of a way to word her desires, Casey rolled to her side to pierce her mind with striking emerald eyes. "I'm not nearly that skilled," she said before kissing her softly, "but that doesn't mean that I don't want to make you feel just as amazing."

The words had Alex's brain swimming even more, swallowing thickly she attempted, "What do you need?"

As she asked, Casey's hand began to travel down her stomach and to her soaked core. She couldn't even try to play hard to get. The moment the redhead's hand reached its destination she easily spread herself, letting Casey see the effect she had on her.

"I need you to tell me how you like it," she whispered as she ran her fingers slowly over Alex's swollen clit.

Sucking in a sharp breath at the contact, Alex moved to sit up gesturing for Casey to do the same. Positioning the the redhead against the headboard in a sitting position, she bit her lip in excited anticipation. Casey's eyes were wide taking every inch of her in as she climbed to straddle her legs.

Leaning in Alex kissed the younger woman, allowing her to see she was still in control of pleasing her like she wanted. She relished how self confident Casey seemed to be even if she was a novice in the bedroom. She wasn't shy about touching her or exploring her body. It turned Alex on even more as Casey started playing with her nipples and running her nails down her back.

Finally, it was Alex begging, "I need you."

Locking her eyes with Alex's dark blue ones, Casey let her hand travel between them and to her lover's soaked center. Feeling just how wet she'd become for her, Casey gasped as she easily mimicked Alex from earlier and slipped two fingers easily into her hot center. Slowly she pulled them back almost all the way out before slipping them in again, enjoying the soft pants escaping her partner.

It was hard to keep her mind focused on what she was doing. Alex seemed to be the sexiest thing she'd ever seen at that exact moment as she rolled her hips against her hand, her breasts moving right in front of her, it was a mesmerizing sight. Casey could feel herself growing hotter by the minute just watching.

"Hook your fingers," Alex grunted as she leaned in to recapture Casey's lips in a quick kiss. Feeling her do as asked, she whimpered as Casey began hitting her in the exact right spot. Rolling her hips faster against the redhead's fingers, she could feel herself about to break. She just needed a little more. Slipping a hand to her clit, she started to rub it as she moved in time with Casey. Yet, control was Casey's to have, so it didn't surprise her when the redhead pushed her hand away and replaced it with her own as she reclaimed Alex's lips in another quick kiss.

"My turn remember," she whispered.

Alex couldn't answer she was too close to exploding. Instead pants and small moans escaped her lips as she felt her orgasm tear through her. She could feel herself tight and spasming against Casey's hands. She could feel Casey's mouth against her. But she had no idea how much time passed as she rode the electric wave coursing through her.

Yet, as she finally came down from her high, she noticed one thing for sure. The look in Casey's eyes had changed. They no longer held that look of innocence...

* * *

Waking late the next morning, Alex wasn't surprised to find Casey tangled in the sheets next to her. Their lovemaking had taken up most of the evening, and she ached in good ways thanks to it. She could only imagine how her younger counterpart would feel when she woke up.

Staring outside at the overcast day, Alex cursed herself. She now had to confess her soul and she wasn't looking forward to it. She knew she should have stopped herself last night before they'd become intimate, but she couldn't resist. Looking back towards the sleeping woman she silently prayed that she wouldn't be hated afterwards. She really was falling hard for Casey and she didn't want to lose her.

Slipping from the bed, Alex pulled on her jeans and sweater from the night before, then headed downstairs to make coffee for them. She tried to go quietly, but the old house still creaked below her feet. Noticing how cold it had become, she paused at the thermostat to crank up the heat. She was amazed that they'd made it through the night in the frigid temperatures.

Finally reaching the kitchen, she went to quick work to prepare the coffeemaker. She wanted to at least get a cup in and settle her mind before talking with the redhead.

It didn't take long for the coffee to be ready and for her to be seated at the breakfast table muddling through her emotions. She knew her feelings for Casey were true and deep, and she also knew that telling her the truth could jeopardize everything. She didn't know what to do, nonetheless how to broach the subject. She almost wished she'd drank more so she could blame her poor judgement on booze instead of selfishness.

Hearing footsteps come down the stairs, Alex prepared to see her partner. This was the moment of truth. She had no other choice if she wanted an attempt of a future with her.

"Hey," Casey groggily smiled as she walked to the table. "How long have you been up?"

Alex took in the younger woman's appearance. She'd redressed in her clothes from the night before as well. It was hard to stay focused when all she wanted to do was remove them again. "Not long, maybe ten or so minutes."

Watching Casey sit across from her, she leapt up, "Let me get you a cup of coffee."

Casey watched the blonde curiously. She could tell something was different by her mannerisms. "What's up?"

Alex ignored the question as she fetched the cup and pot, fixing the coffee the way she knew Casey liked it. As she returned to the table, she bent down and softly kissed the redhead one more time. She hoped it wouldn't be the last kiss, but if it was she wanted a real one.

Setting the cup down in front of Casey, she reclaimed her seat and looked into questioning eyes. "I know Adrian."

She stared flatly at the blonde, "What do you mean you know Adrian?"

Her tone had become icy, and suddenly Alex was full of fear for her confession. "I knew him in high school. He and his friends tormented the hell out of me. I should have told you that day in your apartment, but I panicked..."

"And broke the paperweight," Casey sighed as she set her cup down. Running a hand through her hair she pulled lightly on it in frustration. "You're Alex..."

"He's talked about me?"

"No a friend of his mentioned you, I just didn't know it was you!" She said standing and beginning to pace. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I panicked," Alex said swallowing thickly, knowing she had to confess, "and in my panic I lost my mind..."

"What do you mean? Are you regretting this?" Casey demanded as she turned clearly upset.

"No," Alex said taking her hands, "I'm saying your brother and his friends bullied the shit out of me. I spent years in therapy, I had to leave the City and move here in high school. They got me expelled from high school. I wanted payback..."

She let her words settle into the air as she saw the weight of her them crash over the younger woman. "I decided to lie to myself. I was so taken with you, and then I saw that picture, and instead of telling you immediately and working past it, I decided in a state of chaos that I was going to break your heart to hurt him. But that night I took you out I realized that I didn't want that. I wanted you."

Pulling her hands free, Casey didn't say a word. She simply turned and ran upstairs. Alex could hear her changing, probably dressing fully to leave. But she wasn't ready to let her go that simply.

Letting her have space, Alex walked into the living room and sat on the couch waiting. When Casey finally round the last step, she paused and stared at the broken blonde.

Alex looked into her hurt expression, "I'm sorry that I hurt you, but you had to know the truth. I could have continued to lie to you, but eventually it would have come out. I want to be with you Casey."

"You wanted to hurt me!" She yelled before calming herself, "If I cant trust you, then we don't have a future."

Her words felt like a knife cutting her. "I understand. I'm just asking for one last chance."

"I'll think about it," she said as she picked up her bag and keys, "I'll call you later."

Alex stood and got the door for the younger woman. Watching as Casey dashed down the sidewalk and quickly climbed into her car. As she pulled out of the driveway, Alex couldn't help but think that she wouldn't be calling. She just prayed that the redhead would change her mind.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Alright, I hope you all enjoy. I tore this chapter up a few times!

* * *

Casey's mind raced as she drove away from Alex's. Flashes of the night before coupled with bits and pieces of Alex's confession over coffee attacked her mind. She needed air. She needed answers. She needed the confusion to settle.

It was so overwhelming that she was forty-five minutes into her drive before she registered where she was headed.

Adrian's house.

From that moment forward, she contemplated what she would say and wondered about his answers. Would he confirm his torment of Alex, or would he deny it? Did it matter either way?

Her mind was a tumbling mess. She didn't know who she could trust. All she did know as she drove again down the cold November roads was she would be careful in her questioning. If Adrian really had been terrible to Alex, she needed to be cautious.

Soon the drive came to an end as she neared her brother's suburb of the City. She was thankful that he lived about thirty minutes closer to her than their parents. Adrian was not someone she would ask to stay the night with and she was determined to get home tonight and sleep in her own bed.

Navigating the historic streets of his posh area, Casey wondered how someone with his mentality had made it so far. He had a way of being funny and nice, but he also had a way of being a total asshole. The thought made her stomach twist inside her.

She couldn't help but feel as if there was more truth to Alex's words than she had initially wanted to believe. After all, Nolan had made the comment about an Alex. Turning up her brother's street, she began to wonder if she should have stayed to interrogate the blonde before running out on this mission.

Pulling into his driveway, she turned off the ignition. For a moment, she was frozen, just staring at his home. It looked like any normal house in the area. Brick, with a small porch stoop, lawn well maintained. She imagined he'd probably propose to his girlfriend this Christmas and they'd probably have a baby within a few years. It all unnerved her for some reason.

Climbing from the car, she made the short walk to his door. But as she approached, he opened it, staring at her with a confused expression.

"Casey," he began as he peered out onto the drive, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," she said in a firm voice to not alarm him, "I just wanted to talk with you about the other night, and I felt like it was better to do so in person."

"Well, I wish you'd called. I'm supposed to pick Carrie up at the airport in a few hours." As he spoke he opened the door wider, welcoming her in from the cold and taking her jacket.

She had to recognize that he did have the ability to be nice. "I'm sorry for coming by unannounced, this really won't take long."

"Well, I just got home from Mass, so you caught me at the right time. Did you go today?"

"No," she admitted, "I drove straight here when I got up. I'll go to the evening service when I get home."

"Hmmp," he snorted as he led the way to the kitchen, "Would you like some coffee? It fresh."

"I'd love some."

Taking a seat at the counter across from him, she examined his expression as he poured the cup of black Joe. He looked so much like their grandfather. It was a sad point, because Casey had loved their Papa with all her heart. But here her brother stood, green eyes, dark brown hair, just like him.

"So, what did you want to talk about? We have a time limit. Let's air it out." He stated gruffly as he passed her the coffee.

His way of treating her like a small child always infuriated her. "Nolan made a comment the other night. I'm curious about it."

With the mention of Nolan her brother's eyes lit up, "So you do like him!"

"No, I want to know what he meant about hating women with boy names," she deadpanned.

"Oh," he replied with an annoyed sigh. "It has a way of confusing a girl's mind. No offense Case, but in a world like ours today where so many people are confused and think homosexuality is okay why confuse them with giving them names of the opposite gender. I mean look at yourself. You might have had less confusion if you'd been named Elise like dad wanted."

It took everything she had in her to not throw her coffee in his face. Her brother was seriously screwed up in the head, and she tried to remember it. Swallowing thickly, she pried, "What makes you come to that decision?"

"I've seen it!"

"Was it the girl in high school? The Alex, Nolan mentioned?"

He scratched his head for a second then looked at her. Yet, his eyes flickered something almost scary within them. Something that told her to tread cautiously. "She was a piece of work."

"What was so awful about her?" Casey started only to realize she needed to watch her footing, taking a sip of her coffee she continued, "Was it just her boy name?"

"Well, that didn't help. She was confused, and needed fixing. Unfortunately, she took that confusion and took advantage of a good girl. She convinced the girl to play along with her unnatural ways...I caught them with Nolan. We saved the girl she was taking advantage of and we tried to save Alexandra too, but she wouldn't see the right path."

Casey faked serious interest, she didn't want her brother to see through her. "What did you do?"

He paused looking at her curiously, as if he were trying to break her head open to see what she was thinking. "We offered to show her the right path. Nolan made advances on her to see if he could make her feel the right path. The girls avoided her to not fall into her sinful ways. And when all that failed and the headmaster wouldn't move her out, we did what we had to protect our flock."

"Which was?"

"We got her expelled. I took one of the exam keys from our Chemistry teacher and put it in her locker. It looked as if she were cheating. She was kicked out, and we were safe from her heresy." A small smile spread over his face as he finished his confession. "She got what she deserved in the end."

Casey felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room. Her heart raged in her chest not only for Alex, but for herself. Adrian was charismatic, it wouldn't have taken him much to get a whole school of kids on his side. The thought made her sick. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe you were wrong?"

Now his dark expression was on her, "The doctrine is clear. We were not wrong in the judgement."

"I mean in your treatment. Don't you think love and acceptance might have been a better way?"

"No," he snorted. "If you want my honest to God opinion, she just needed a good fucking to straighten her out."

"That makes you sound like a rapist," She said with a pause before standing, "please do not speak like that around me again." Moving to collect her things, she tried to close the conversation, "Anyway, I was curious about the name thing. Thank you for your honesty. If in the future I have a daughter I will be sure to give her a female name." She could feel the acid roll up in her throat at her lie.

He watched her closely following her to the door. His closeness made her slightly uneasy. Yet, she began to feel more secure as she started to open the door. That was until his hand grabbed it.

"What the fuck, Adrian!" She barked at him.

"Look me in the eyes," he demanded until she did so out of fear only, "I want you to hear me. You stay away from her. She's toxic and she will poison your mind."

"I don't know what you are talking about," she lied as she pulled on the door again this time freeing it from him and escaping his home for the cold air.

Her heart felt as if it could explode deep inside of her as she walked briskly to her car. She wanted to be far away from him. She wanted to go home to Fairhaven and never return to this place. Yet, as she opened the door to her car, she could hear his chilling voice a few feet behind her in the driveway.

Turning to face him, she could see how dark his expression had become. He was on a warpath now. "I'm not an idiot Casey. You would never come here to ask me these questions if you hadn't met her. Stay clear of her. I'll do what I have to in order to protect my sister."

"You have nothing to worry about with me, Adrian. I like men. But that doesn't mean that I don't think you handle yourself poorly. Personally, I think you are a bigot. And that makes me really sad for you. But I'll continue to pray for your soul." Seeing his redirected anger, she climbed into her car and backed out of the driveway.

Leaving her brother and his hate behind...

* * *

Standing on her front porch, Alex felt the icy air envelope her. She wanted to turn back, but she needed to expend her anxious energy. It's what she and her therapist had discussed years ago; expend the bad energy to let the good in.

Stepping off her porch, she began a slow jog down her sidewalk. Seeing her neighbor, Mrs. Joseph walking her toy poodle, she waved, "Hello!"

"You be careful dear," the old sweet black lady called out as she headed up her own steps, "It looks like it could snow any minute."

"Thank you," she replied as she paused jogging in place, "I won't be too long. I just need to blow off steam. When I get back I will salt your sidewalk and driveway."

"You are too good to me," Mrs. Joseph replied. "I'll have some hot chocolate waiting for you."

Alex smiled at the kind woman. It was hard to believe how much her life had changed by coming to Fairhaven. She truly loved living in this town. She just wished she had someone like Casey to share it with.

Picking up speed, she let her mind wander to the redhead. The first time she saw her dazed and confused in the classroom. The way she got her literary allusions. Seeing her dance to Taylor Swift, and the smile that lit up her face when she'd registered her as a dancer.

The roads zoomed by, and Alex was filled with warm memories of making Casey laugh. The way her nose scrunched up and her head would fall forward in bursts of giggles. And how she'd fight to stop them but fail miserably.

More streets and then she was running through gravel turning to overgrowth beneath her feet. And the thought of feeling Casey in her arms spread through her. The sensation of her lips against hers. Hearing her as she broke apart...

It was easy for Alex to get lost in her mind. It was even easier for her to go further than she had intended to...but looking around she realized she was right where she needed to be for the moment.

* * *

Casey felt as if she drove a hundred miles per hour back to Fairhaven. She wanted to put as much distance as she could between her and the lost soul that was her brother. And as she pulled into the small town she felt like she'd finally achieved.

Her original goal had been to just return to her apartment, but now she needed to see Alex. The encounter with Adrian had shed light on what the blonde must have gone through, and looking at her own feelings towards her brother she wondered how she could have ever doubted the blonde's sincerity of her apology.

Driving down Alex's street, she saw the first round of snowflakes descend from the sky. White little chunks began cascading onto the windshield as her cohort's house come back into view and she pulled into the drive. She was happy she'd reached it before the weather got worse.

Stepping out into the wintertime air, Casey ran up to the door. She knew she should have called first, but right now she didn't care. Knocking quickly, she fidgeted back and forth waiting for Alex to come let her in, but no one showed. Yet, as she looked through the glass at the well lit room, an older woman's voice cut through the air.

"Excuse me!"

Turning towards the sound, Casey saw an old black woman walking a small tan dog. She wasn't sure if the woman was calling to her, until the woman spoke again.

"Are you looking for Ms. Cabot?"

"Yes," Casey called back as she headed in the direction of the lady. "Do you know where I can find her?"

"Well, she went out jogging about an hour and a half ago. She said she would be quick. I'm afraid she is going to catch her death of cold." As she spoke she looked down the road, turning back to Casey she continued, "I'm Mrs. Joseph."

Smiling, Casey nodded, "I'm Casey Novak. I work with Alex. Do you know where she was headed?"

"No," Mrs. Joseph explained, "but she went in that direction."

As she finished, she pointed down the road. In a way, it was as if she was directing Casey to go after her. Taking the bait, she smiled, "How about I drive that way and look for her...I'm sure she's cold by now."

"I think that's a good idea," the older woman relayed as she picked her dog up and headed up the stairs. "Let me know if you find her."

"Will do!" Casey called back as she again got back in her car. "I swear I am going to live in you soon," she spoke to the vehicle.

Starting the engine she began driving, trying to imagine which way Alex would go. Fairhaven wasn't terribly big, so there weren't many places she could hide out. "That's it..."

Turning her car in the direction of the town, she silently prayed she was right. It was a huge long shot, and she knew Alex had friends that she could be with, but something told her that wasn't the case. Something told her Alex wanted to be alone in a peaceful spot.

Reaching the overgrown trail, Casey parked her car, and quickly left it behind. The snow was starting to fall with speed, but as she entered the trail she was temporarily shielded from it. Walking down the unkempt path, she looked for signs that Alex had come this way. Yet, there wasn't much to answer her question.

At least not until she reached the opening.

Looking out onto the open shore, she saw the woman she'd fallen for sitting on the frozen ground looking out on the black icy water. White chunky flakes were starting to stick to the the frozen ground, yet the blonde didn't move. She seemed frozen to her spot.

There was something about the way Alex sat staring off at the water that made Casey's heart ache. As if it was a look she could relate to...a longing for something more.

Refusing to hesitate another moment, Casey broke free from the trail and walked to her side. "Alex."

Alex shook her head clear looking up to her as if she were a figment of her imagination. "Casey?"

"It's freezing out. How long have you been sitting here?"

Standing she dusted herself off. "Maybe thirty minutes. How'd you find me?"

"Your neighbor and my smarts. I figured you'd want to go to your peaceful spot."

Alex stared at the redhead. Even in the cold she seemed magical. Her eyes a glittering emerald, and her short hair a bright scarlet. Just looking at her, made Alex feel on fire but safe all at the same time. The whole thing puzzled the hell out of her, she just couldn't figure out why the younger woman was so captivating. "I needed to think after you left again."

"So did I," Casey whispered realizing that in this moment they were both vulnerable. "I'm sorry for running out...again."

"It's getting a little old."

"I know," Casey whispered as she looked to the ground. "Are you cold?"

"Yes," Alex answered honestly. She had actually been preparing to head towards home when her counterpart had appeared. "Why did you go to my house?"

"I needed to see you."

"Why now?"

Casey examined the hurt behind the blonde's blue eyes. "I went to see Adrian."

The response was short, but suffice. With the mention of his name, Alex wanted to vacate her safety spot. She didn't want him brought to this place ever. Even in name. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes," Casey replied softly.

"Then we need to go someplace else. He's not allowed here. Ever."

Casey didn't hesitate, she held her hand out for the blonde to take, letting a sigh of relief escape her lips when it was accepted. "I get that."

Walking hand in hand, neither woman spoke. They just allowed their intertwined fingers and close proximity to speak for itself. Yet, as they broke free from the hidden path and back out onto the street Casey spoke.

"Coffee shop or car?"

"Car. I have something I need to do before the snow gets bad."

She didn't question, she just unlocked the vehicle and assumed the drivers seat. Putting the car in drive, she prodded, "Where to?"

"Home," Alex replied, before quickly adding, "I salt Mrs. Joseph's sidewalk every time bad weather hits."

"Okay," she answered letting the silence again envelope them. "What did Adrian do to you?"

"I thought you talked to him." Alex replied flatly.

"I did. And he told me things..." she whispered, "but I also know what he is capable of..."

In that moment, reality struck Alex full force. She'd never stopped to think what Adrian was really like at home. She'd made an assumption based off of a happy looking picture that he cared for Casey. She hadn't stopped to think about how cruel he might have been to her.

"They caught me hooking up with a girl. We were best friends...or so I thought. So she knew I was into women, and she was curious about things. Anyway, we were fooling around, and he and a friend caught us. Within a week, no girl on campus would talk to me. And my so-called friend threw red paint all over me..."

She snorted at the memory as she looked out the window at the passing landscape, "I looked like I was Carrie from that horror movie, which was funny, because Carrie threw it on me." She paused again, clearly trying to bottle emotions, "They all started treating me like I was this demonic being. Anyway, after that I got calls all hours of the night by Adrian's group of boys. They would offer to _fix_ me."

Swallowing thickly to control her composure, she looked at Casey, "Then his best friend kept grabbing me at school and rubbing his hands on my legs, all the while trying to convince me how much better I'd be... It was like they thought they could cure me...I was scared to go to school, but I kept trying to keep my head up. I even begged your brother to ask them to stop. I told him I wouldn't talk to anyone if he'd just get them to leave me be. He at first seemed compassionate but then something changed in his eyes...it was like I had my answer before he even spoke. I was hysterical when I got home that night, and I confessed everything to my parents. They talked to the Headmaster, he tried to help initially, but then he gave up. He actually told them I brought it on myself by being public about my sexuality. They started to agree until Adrian got me expelled. He framed me for stealing an exam key. My parents didn't even argue, they moved me up here to be with my Aunt Liz...I lost my childhood because of him...at least the teenage years."

Somewhere during Alex's story, Casey had pulled the car over and was simply watching her unveil all the hurt. And as she finished, Casey didn't hesitate to lean in and kiss her. The kiss was soft and gentle, almost curative, and as she parted she whispered, "I'm so sorry," against Alex's lips.

"You have nothing to be sorry for..."

"He's my brother, and he's evil."

"Casey," Alex began only to be shut down.

"I'm serious Alex. He has this way about him. I swear I think he gets a kick out of hurting people. He can be wonderful one moment, but the next it's...it's very Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde. And he knows about you now. I didn't tell him, he figured out that I knew you. But I played it off as best I could."

"Alright," Alex said quietly with a nod. "So, what now?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "Are we playing with napalm?"

"The school...if they find out we will get fired."

Casey sighed, "Adrian...if he finds out lord only knows what he will do..."

It was as if they'd met at a fork in the road, and now had to decide which way to go. Silence was thick in the car as they stared into each other's eyes. Neither wanted to make the call they knew needed to be made.

Yet, as Casey broke eye contact and looked out at the road, Alex felt a rush of anxiety. "I know I haven't made this easy," she began, "But I'd really the like chance to show you the real me. It's dangerous-"

"We will probably get burned..." Casey interrupted as she looked back into the blonde's eyes.

"But..."

"It's worth the try," The redhead said softly.

Alex smiled sweetly at the younger woman. "Yes it is," she replied before leaning in and recapturing her lips. The kiss was light, playful, and brimming with curiosity.

As they finally broke apart, Casey chuckled, "So, we will have to keep this a secret."

"Yes," She smirked, "Only people that can keep a secret can know."

Casey smiled, "Then let's go clear Mrs. Joseph's sidewalk and see where this takes us..."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I hope everyone had a happy holiday season! Work got me down a bit, but break rejuvenated me. As for this chapter...I wrote it, trashed it, wrote something else, trashed that, pulled this one back out and changed parts...it's been a rollercoaster. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Opening her eyes to the early morning light, Alex found herself wondering if the last few days had actually happened. Monday had arrived before all the dust had settled, and now she was left praying that Casey wouldn't change her mind. Lying in bed staring at the ceiling she began to question if the weekend had even gone as she'd actually remembered.

The kiss in the office...Casey running away...her return and the mind blowing sex that ensued...the confession...Casey leaving again...the talk and agreement when she returned, followed by the amazing sex last night before she went home...

Feeling butterflies explode in her stomach at the thought of her lover, Alex closed her eyes and rolled to her side. ' _Oh my god_ ,' she thought, ' _Casey, is my girlfriend_.' She wanted to tell everyone and the fact that she couldn't made her nervous. It was too dangerous for them to be open about their relationship at work, but at least she could tell her aunt and best friends. That would be enough, it wasn't like she had real friends at work. Hell she'd tried her best to only keep a working relationship with them. To keep her secret hidden...

And then there was the fear that Casey would change her mind. She had a bigger battle ahead. This wouldn't just be her hiding it at work, but from her family as well. That kind of stress could destroy a person, and she didn't know Casey well enough to know how she'd handle it. Yet, Alex was determined to make this work. She'd start by winning Casey over all the proper ways.

Looking out her window, she saw a blur of grey-white. She couldn't make it all out without eyewear, but she figured it was snow reflecting the early morning rays. As of last night they hadn't called for a delay in school or a closure for the snow. She wondered if that changed over the night.

Fishing her phone off the nightstand, she began to look up the weather. They'd gotten a total of four to five inches of snow, and it was scheduled to snow later that afternoon as well. However, so far school at St. Francis hadn't been cancelled or delayed. So the roads must be clear already.

Just as she began looking the last part over, her phone began ringing. It was the woman running circles in her mind. Answering the device she gave a breathy, "Hey there-"

"Okay, I need your help, and good morning," the redhead blurted.

Sitting up, Alex fished her glasses from the bedside table. "What's up?"

"My car won't start."

"What time is it?" She asked looking at her phone again to ensure it was really as early as she thought it was, "Why are you trying to start your car at 6 AM? You don't have to be at work till 8."

"I'm out of coffee. I was trying to go buy some since I never made it to the store this weekend. Anyway, I think the cold weather finally got to the battery."

"Okay...do you need coffee?" Alex was not awake enough for this conversation.

Casey's laugh filled the line. "I think you need coffee. I need a ride to work. If you come with coffee that would be an added bonus."

"Oh, okay. Yes, I can pick you up. Are the roads clear?"

"They appear to be around town."

"Damn, I wanted a snow day or at least a delay."

"Me too. I haven't really played in the snow in years," Casey admitted. "Anyway, I think they are trying to get school over with for the day before the next round of flurries hit. Who would have imagined we'd get snow like this right at the start of November?"

The remark gave Alex a fun idea. Climbing from bed, she assured, "I know! Anyway, I'm up and getting ready now. I should be headed your way within the hour."

"Great, thank you!" Casey replied before saying goodbye.

Standing in her room, looking out the window at the white landscape, Alex beamed. She knew just what she wanted to do with the rest of her day pending it didn't warm up.

* * *

Knocking on Casey's door, Alex felt herself about to burst. She had the trunk of her car packed for later, which excited her immensely, but right now she was just nervous. She felt like a teenager picking her girlfriend up for the first time.

Hearing the door open, she fixed a small smile on her face, only to brighten by the big grin on the redhead. "Hey."

"Hi," Casey replied before pulling Alex in the door by her jacket. The second the door was shut behind them, she pressed her lips hungrily against the blonde's quickly deepening it. She could taste coffee mixed with something sweet on her. It made Casey want all of her but she knew they didn't have the the time. Finally breaking apart she whispered a breathless, "Hello."

Alex couldn't help but laugh as she took the younger woman in, "Well, hello to you too. Feel free to greet me like that any time."

Giving her one last quick peck, Casey turned to move into the small apartment, "I'm ready, I just have to grab my bag."

Alex watched the redhead busy herself around the space. It was an amusing sight to see. She clearly was methodical in the way she left for work everyday. Yet there was something more to her movements. Something about her whole graceful demeanor made Alex want to peel her clothes off and take her right there.

She wasn't sure why. She'd never wanted another partner the way she seemed to want her. Maybe it was the dry spell finally passing or the newness of this relationship...

Casey turned finally ready, and caught Alex's expression. It was like catching a kid with their hand in the cookie jar. "Are you undressing me with your eyes?"

"What?" Alex stumbled. "Why do you say that?"

"Your eyes," she smirked, "They are dark and telling..."

"I, I..."

"Don't need to apologize," Casey laughed, "It's highly flattering."

Nodding, Alex shook her head clear and turned to get the door as Casey approached. As she neared she ducked her head to the older woman's ear, "Plus, I've been thinking about last night all morning."

Sucking in a sharp breath, Alex felt herself quiver at what the younger woman might have meant by said statement, but didn't let her mind focus too hard on it. "I have coffee in the car."

Casey's laugh filled the hallway, "Nice transition, Cabot."

"I try," she snorted, "Do you want to try to jump your car before we leave?"

"I already did. It's super dead. I called for a tow truck, they picked it up after I talked to you."

"That's good. I can take you to get it this afternoon."

Casey slowed her walk to the stairs, turning to face the blonde, "Thank you. You really are my heroine."

Leaning in, Alex placed a soft kiss to Casey's lips. As she pulled back, she whispered, "I'm glad to be."

And it was a true statement, because there really was something magical about this woman. Something that made Alex forget her concerns. Something that made Casey worth playing with fire.

* * *

Staring out her classroom window, Casey watched as the first round of snowflakes began to descend from the sky. She couldn't believe they were getting so much snow right at the start of November, but she was thankful for it. Ever since she was a child she'd been fascinated by its appearance in the sky.

Her classroom was empty, the last of the students had gone home around an hour ago, and now she was left waiting on _her_ girlfriend. The simple thought of Alexandra Cabot as her girlfriend had her mind swimming. It had only now been a full twenty-four hours since they'd decided to embark on this potentially dangerous journey together but she found herself excited by calling her counterpart her girlfriend.

Maybe it was insanity, but she didn't care. Something about her visit home had been the final straw, she couldn't exactly place it, but she knew deep down what she was doing was right. She'd denied herself for too long. She deserved to be happy and now with Alex she was discovering just how amazing that could be.

Smiling to herself, she also recognized just how good being true to herself could feel. Being with Alex was unlike anything she could have ever have imagined...and she didn't think that the sex was solely responsible for that feeling. She really attributed those feelings to it being with Alex as well.

However, this budding relationship came with serious complications. The biggest one being lying to friends. She'd welcomed the not telling family, but she hadn't really thought about the fact that her only friends worked at St. Francis.

This fact had caused her to have to lie by omission to her new buddy Kim that very day during lunch...

" _So, I noticed you rode to work with Cabot this morning. What happened?" Kim questioned as she stabbed at her salad._

 _Casey smiled at the memory of Alex picking her up, before catching herself, "My car crapped out on me. She was nice enough to give me a ride."_

" _Hmm."_

" _Hmm, what?"_

 _Kim stared into Casey's questioning eyes, "It's nothing really. I've just known Cabot for three years. In all that time, she hasn't made a real friend here. She's just been a workaholic loner until you came along. I just find it interesting is all."_

" _Interesting how?"_

" _I don't mean anything bad by it. Honestly, I'm happy to know that she has a fun side to her. Maybe one day we could all get together." The brunette offered with a genuine smile._

And there was the difficult part. Now, Casey had to decide to be honest with her friend or lie about her relationship. It was a rough spot to be in. Plus, she wondered why Alex distanced herself from people at St. Francis. Was it because she was gay? Would she expect Casey to do the same?

Sighing, she turned away from the snowy landscape and back to her desk full of papers. She didn't want to grade tonight, she was ready to go home and get in comfy pajamas. After her weekend of driving all over the state of New York, and late nights with Alex, she was ready for bed. Now, she just needed the blonde to finish whatever business she had to attend to in the front office and take her home.

She still hadn't heard from the shop regarding her car. They had towed it before Alex had picked her up, but they said it could be awhile if it was more than the battery. It was the price to pay for living in a small town. Smaller town meant smaller shop to make repairs. Her guess based on time was that it wasn't the battery. It was an unfortunate situation.

Hearing a knock at her classroom door, she stretched as she stood and made her way to its source. Silently she prayed that it belonged to a gorgeous blonde ready to take her home. She didn't want to get sucked into a teacher crisis today.

Looking through the glass of her door, she saw her girlfriend with a beaming smile. It immediately created one on her own face. There really was something extraordinary about this woman.

"What's up?" She asked as she opened the door to find Alex's arms full of clothes. "And what do you have?"

"I brought you snow gear."

Watching the blonde set down the clothes, she frowned. "Why?"

"Because I planned something fun for us. I'm taking you to my favorite sledding spot."

"You what?" She stumbled as she looked at the pants.

"This morning you said it had been years since you played in the snow," the blonde conveyed as she picked up the smaller pair of pants and passed them to her partner, "So I figured since the snow would probably vanish after this last bout of flurries today was the perfect day!"

Casey couldn't help but laugh. She was worn out, but the excitement in her counterpart had somehow rejuvenated her. Grabbing Alex's hand that held the pants, she pulled her girlfriend into her arms, "I love the surprise. I didn't expect any of this."

"I'm stealthy like that," Alex whispered before quickly kissing her and separating.

The quickness of contact made Casey ache inside. She knew it was what had to happen, but she hated it all the same. "I'm going to change in the bathroom to not draw attention."

"Okay," Alex replied. She knew they were over compensating in some ways now as she herself walked to the office to change. After all, just the week prior she'd been practically naked in the office when Casey came in and kissed her. But this is what being in a secret relationship meant for them...hiding their true feelings all the time.

Changing quickly, Alex led Casey out of the building and into the falling snow. The younger woman seemed to frolic through the fast falling flakes as she led them past the gym and dance studio, to the top of the hill that followed the stairs down to the soccer field and tennis courts. She hadn't sled here since she herself was a teenager, so in a way she felt like a first timer again. The distance seemed so great and her adrenaline was definitely pumping in anticipation.

Locating the sleds she'd deposited before fetching Casey, she brushed off the new snow and grinned, "You ready?"

"That's a hell of a run," The younger woman replied wide eyed. "You've done this before?"

"Yeah," Alex spouted followed by a long pause, "When I was 17 and 18."

"So, 12 to 13 years ago..."

"I was a bit younger."

"Well, I'm five years out from that so I guess if you are still adventurous enough to do this then I better woman up," Casey replied with a snort as she sat in one disk.

"Hey! That makes me sound old." Alex scoffed as she sat in the other next to her girlfriend.

"You are seven years older than me..." she clarified as she adjusted her feet to the side of the bowl preparing to launch herself down the steep incline.

"So?"

"That makes you old."

Alex just shook her head at the mischievous redhead, "Well, let's see how well you do, Youngin'." And with that she kicked Casey's disk down the slope laughing loudly as the younger woman screamed the whole way down.

Only when she came to a stop mid soccer field did Alex push herself off. Letting out similar squeals she held on tight till she stopped a few feet short of her panting lover. "That was just as awesome as I remember!"

The fiery redhead scowled at her before jumping up and tackling Alex gently back into the snow. "That is not okay, Ms. Cabot!"

Alex smirked at the devilish look on her partner's face. "What are you going to do about it?" She asked as she gently brushed a lock of red hair from her face.

"You'll find out later," Casey whispered as she took Alex's lips in hers. It was easy to forget their surroundings when she was with her. Only when they parted did memory of their location kick back in.

Touching her lips as she separated from Casey, Alex picked up the sled and looked around cautiously, "We have to be more careful."

"I know," She acknowledged picking up her sled. "Do you think anyone saw?"

"Luckily, I think everyone has left campus already." Alex conveyed as she headed quickly back towards the stairs. "Want to go again?"

"I'd love to," she replied as she followed behind.

Reaching the final landing just outside the dance studio, Alex turned to face her girlfriend, "Do you have a problem with me being 7 years older than you?"

"Oh, god no. I was just teasing."

"Good," She replied, "because I'm really enjoying this." As she finished her statement she took Casey's hand in her own.

"Me too," Casey smiled.

It was then they heard someone walking up. Turning they found a very perplexed Kim Greylek, "Which one of you want to explain just what _this_ is?"

Pulling her hand free, Alex looked to the brunette with a frown, "We are sledding."

"Don't lie to me. I'm not stupid," she scoffed as she looked directly to Casey for answers. "Is this why you all are so close? You are a couple?"

"Yes," Casey admitted.

"Casey!" Alex snapped.

"It's fine," she countered, "Kim's my friend," as she spoke she looked directly into the blue green eyes of her only friend in Fairhaven, "right?"

The hurt was evident on the brunette's face, "Yeah, I thought we were friends. But I don't know why my friend wouldn't tell me she was dating someone."

"Out of fear," Alex interrupted. "There is a lot to lose in our situation."

Quiet filled the air as the three women just stood and stared at each other. Casey suddenly felt like she could cry. She thought she'd have a little more time before having to figure out what to say to her friend, "Kim, please..."

"We are fine, Case," she finally sighed, "Just don't hide things from me in the future. I get it though. My sister is a lesbian. I'm happy for you two. Just be more cautious around here. I spotted you two kissing on the field when I walked out of the studio to head to my car."

"Note taken," Alex said with a sigh of relief as Casey hugged her friend.

"I'll see you all later," Kim said as she prepared to turn to leave.

"Hey," Alex called to the other woman. "Do you want to sled with us? I think I remember where we hid a sled as kids in the gym."

"Sure," Kim laughed as she fished her keys back out. "But they probably purged it years ago."

"Well let's see if they found our secret hiding spot," Alex said as she led the women towards the gym.

"You and your secrets, Cabot!" Kim chuckled as she fiddled her keys into the lock.

As Casey watched her friend and girlfriend enter the gym, she said a silent prayer of thanks. What could have ended poorly somehow turned out to be a blessing. At least, now she didn't have to lie to everyone.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Have you heard the song Dress by Taylor Swift? I'm feeling it with this story...

* * *

Light sounds of snoring stirred Casey from her deep slumber. Just as her mind began to register wakefulness she fought to remember the dream she was having, not wanting to let go of the comfort it contained. A world where she could sit at a dinner table and really enjoy her family, peacefully with a laughing blonde at her side.

Opening her eyes, she let the remnants fade as she registered her surroundings. She was in her bed, and the light snores coming from her right side belonged to her _girlfriend_ , Alex. The main reason that her dream couldn't come true.

Rolling to her side, she watched the beautiful woman sleep. Her long hair was scattered across the pillow, her knees bent slightly upwards, and arms draped above her head. She looked almost as if she were jumping off a cliff down to water. And in this completely disheveled state Casey found her most gorgeous.

The peaceful expression on her face as she dreamt the morning away, explained it all. It was hard to find something to not like about her. She was kind and friendly, always helping people. Whether it be a pregnant mother at the store load heavy items into a car, or elderly neighbors salt their sidewalks. Simply put, Alex had a heart full of love, and it made Casey feel special that she wanted to share that with her.

She knew once her car was fixed the frequency of their sleepovers would probably come to an end, but for the time being she was relishing every moment. She didn't mind waking almost every morning to this sexy creature. Even if it was her lover's snoring waking her up.

Climbing from the bed, she quietly made her way to the bathroom turning the shower on. Once steam started to escape the curtained enclosure she stepped into the tubbed area relishing the feeling of the warm water caressing her cold skin. While the snow had melted just days after its arrival, the cold of winter remained, causing her to freeze the second she left the warmth of her bed.

As she washed herself she noticed the little marks left on her skin from her and Alex's escapades in the bedroom the night before. It was half the reason the blonde ended up spending the night. For only being together for a week, they were certainly spending plenty of time in the bedroom. Casey knew she was mostly to blame for it though. Maybe it was the years of trying to be someone she wasn't, maybe it was simply being with Alex, but either way she was enjoying the physical connection they seemed to have together.

Finishing up, she climbed back out into the cold morning air only to find Alex walking in. "Did I wake you?" she asked her yawning partner as she fixed the towel around herself.

"No, but I was hoping to join you before you got out," Alex replied as she took the wet haired redhead in her arms and kissed her neck earning a whimper.

"You can't do that," Casey playfully complained as the blonde kissed up her neck to her ear, before she slowly pulled away.

"You weren't complaining last night," Alex teased as she turned the water back on and began undressing.

Looking her girlfriend over, Casey was pleased to notice similar marks of passion. She loved how much Alex wanted her, and she loved that she was capable of pleasing her. "If we didn't have a department meeting this morning I'd absolutely take you up on the offer."

Alex bit her lip as she pulled the curtain back to step inside the steamy enclosure. She'd happily miss the meeting to spend the day in bed with Casey, "I don't doubt it."

Letting the water crash over her sensitive skin, she called out, "Are you busy this evening?"

"Not yet," Casey called back as she wiped the steam from the mirror so she could see herself as she added product to her hair, "Why? Do you have something in mind?"

"Well," Alex replied as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair, "I thought I would take you out on a real date. If you wanted to…" There was a moment of silence before the redhead spoke.

"Are we able to pull that off without being caught?"

Alex chuckled lightly, as she turned the water off and snagged a towel from the hook, "Well, they can't tell us we can't ever hang out. So, I think as long as we aren't making out at dinner we should be okay. You know maybe we are just best friends that like doing everything together."

"And sleeping at one another's houses?" Casey deadpanned.

"Well, unless you start complaining in the front office that Cabot's snoring keeps waking you up, I think we will be okay."

Now it was Casey's turn to laugh through a mouthful of toothpaste, "How'd you know?"

"Kim was laughing about it yesterday when you were in the restroom at Starbucks," she replied with a smirk as she applied toothpaste to her own toothbrush. "Just so you know, you talk in your sleep."

* * *

Sitting at the large walnut table, Alex tried to focus on what the head of the Language Arts department was droning on and on about. It was an impossible task. One because he was boring as sin, and two because Casey was sitting across the table from her chewing the end of her pen.

It was an annoying thing to watch a person do, but something about Casey doing it had her hands trembling. She could easily imagine just what the younger woman was capable of with that mouth, and the thought had her heart racing in her chest. She wanted every bit of her.

It had been nearly a week since she and Casey had decided to give dating a try, and in that week she'd felt her desire for the redhead grow to new levels. She wasn't sure if it was the fun of having a significant other again or the fact that their relationship was something hidden, all she knew was she wanted the younger woman all the time. And that proved to be a good thing since Casey seemed to want her just as much.

Breaking her eyes away from her love interest, Alex again tried to focus on Peter's boring lecture of aligning grades. He wanted to stress the importance of building the education system from grade to grade. The older man had a real point, but he needed to work on getting to said point. She could only imagine how he must bore his students.

Yet, every idiot at the grandiose table sat nodding in unison with every word he spoke. That was all but her and...Casey.

Looking back across the table she noticed exactly how the redhead was staring at her. Alex knew that predatory look all too well. It told her that once they were alone she belonged to the younger woman.

Darting her eyes quickly away, Alex tried to focus on Peter, but suddenly she found it even harder to think about curriculum. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Peter," she broke his thought, "I need a cup of coffee. Would anyone else like something?"

A unanimous no, met her ears as Casey stood, "I could use one to," she added rounding the table to join the blonde, "I guess we will be right back. Don't spill all the good details just yet, Pete!"

Walking out into the hallway, Alex chided in a whisper, "I wasn't inviting you along. I was trying to get you out of my head!"

"What am I doing in your head?" She whispered back in a husky voice.

"You know damn well what you are doing," Alex playfully snapped as she pushed the door open leading them into the very empty staff lounge, quickly approaching the coffee maker. "We are supposed to be cautious."

"We are," Casey replied as she fetched two paper coffee cups from the cabinet. "You are going to need these."

"Thank you."

"Do you want me to stop looking at you?"

Alex sighed as she fixed the cups with cream and sugar, "That would be a huge help."

"Okay," Casey smirked devilishly, "But then you have to stop making eyes at me."

"I wasn't-"

"You were," she said dragging out the _were_.

"Fine," Alex huffed as she poured the coffee into the prepped cups. "No more looking at each other in staff meetings."

"This should be completely easy," Casey teasingly laughed as she picked her coffee up and turned to head back into the hallway. "Especially since we teach the same grade and have to work together all the time..."

"Case," Alex quickly said as she reached out for her counterparts arm. Seeing green eyes meet her own, she smiled, "Just in case I didn't tell you this morning, you look really beautiful today."

The redhead's face lit up at the compliment, "Thank you, so do you." And as she finished the statement she placed a gentle and meaningful kiss to the blonde's lips. "Now, no more staring at me."

* * *

That afternoon, Casey found herself sitting on a bench in the front circle of St. Francis that afternoon searching for her car and the slow as molasses repairman. He'd called her during lunch to inform her that her car's alternator had finally been fixed, and to make up the wait he would bring it to her at work. The offer had seemed genuinely nice, that was until she found herself waiting in the freezing cold for twenty minutes after work.

"Where the hell are you?" She grumbled as she heard footsteps approaching from behind. Turning she saw her friend Kim coming her way.

"Have you been out here the whole time?" The brunette asked.

"Yeah, waiting on Captain Molasses. And I really need to get home, I have a hot date tonight."

Kim sat down next to her friend, "Is it with who I think it's with?"

Casey ducked her head as she blushed. Smiling bright, she mumbled, "Of course it is..."

"Aww, who's treating who?" Kim asked as she scanned the lot and road in, suddenly noticing her friend's vehicle and another, "ah, there's your car!"

"Bout damn time!" Casey snapped as she stood up. "My ass is frozen from sitting here so long."

Kim laughed at her silly response as she picked up her bag and resumed her trek to her car, "If you need help picking out an outfit FaceTime me!"

"Thanks," she replied as she walked to where the repairmen were parking. The second she saw the drivers side door of her car open, she new it was one of the technicians named, Chester. He'd been insanely flirty at the shop, and despite her not flirting back he didn't seem to get the message. Faking a smile, she approached, "I'm so glad it's fixed!"

"Yeah, took forever to get the parts," Chester replied as he sported his best smile. She could tell he'd cut his dark hair, and she couldn't help but wonder if it was for this moment. "Oh," he said bending down back in the car to fetch a clipboard, "Your final bill, I just need you to sign."

Casey looked the final numbers over. They were exactly what she had agreed to pay over the phone. Signing quickly she passed it back waiting for him to step aside so she could get in the car and leave.

His odd silence and lack of movement to allow her in the car started to make her feel uncomfortable. He seemed like he was trying to build the nerve for something. Attempting to dodge a bullet, she tried again, "Thank you so much. Am I good to go, because I have somewhere to be."

"Yeah," he said blushing as he awkwardly stepped back, "I just," he paused rubbing his head, before looking up with confidence, "I just wanted to see if I could take you out sometime!"

And there it was, what she'd been dreading. Yet, keeping her composure she tilt her head to the side sympathetically, "Thank you for the offer, but I'm currently involved with someone."

And right as he nodded in understanding and stepped back she saw her boss, Arthur Branch. He was staring at her, but she couldn't tell if he'd heard her words. She figured it didn't matter either way.

* * *

Walking into the fancy Latin American cuisine restaurant, Alex felt like she could float away from the butterflies exploding in her stomach. Casey looked fantastic in a pair of black ponte pants with a black and white horizontal striped shirt and a blue coat. Her short hair was styled in a fun manner and her smile captivated all of Alex's thoughts. It was easy to say she was happy to not be at work right now.

Taking her girlfriend's hand she squeezed it lightly, "You seriously look stunning."

"Me?" Casey snorted, "Did you see yourself in the mirror?"

She didn't think the blonde could be any prettier at that moment. She had a fitted red long sleeved dress on that stopped just above her knees, coupled with a short black jacket, stockings and heels. It had Casey wondering all the ways she could free Alex of each article after their date.

"I have a problem, Cabot."

"Oh, you do?" Alex teasingly questioned as she entwined their fingers as they moved towards the hostess. "What's that?"

Moving closer to Alex's long blonde hair, she whispered in a wanton tone, "I want to take you to bed all the time."

"And that's a problem, why?"

"I don't want you to think I only want you for sex."

Alex smiled as she looked to her girlfriend, "Well, it's nice to know that isn't the only reason, and you can be assured that I feel the same way. I think it's normal in the beginning of a relationship."

"It is," Casey more stated than anything else. She was beginning to realize how much her last relationship was a sham.

Alex smirked at her girlfriend. She loved how new to the real dating scene she was, it was an unbelievable turn on. Something she would have never imagined thinking or liking.

Letting go of Casey's hand, she walked up to the hostess, "We have reservations for two, under Cabot."

The young woman smiled and led the way to their table. Sitting down across from the blonde it suddenly dawned on Casey that this was the first real date she'd been on with a woman. The last time she'd been out with Alex like this it had been for ulterior motives.

Yet, before she could really voice that thought a waiter arrived for their drink order, and soon she found herself captivated by small talk with this enchanting woman. It wasn't until dessert was served that her mind returned to the earlier thought.

"You know," she said with a smile, "This is our first real date."

"Yes, I do," Alex replied as she took a bite of her lavender infused cheesecake letting her eyes fall shut as the amazing tastes exploded in her mouth.

Casey watched the blonde, always surprised at how she could steal her train of thought. "How is it?"

"Fantastic," Alex said as she prepared another fork full of the deliciousness. "I'm glad you talked me into ordering it. Here try," she said as she held the fork out to her girlfriend.

Casey took the bite without hesitation. Moaning slightly at the exquisite flavor combination, she too closed her eyes in enjoyment, before slowly recoiling in her seat. "Wow, I see what you mean. I shouldn't have ordered the Tres Leches Cake."

"Next time you will have to get this one," Alex laughed. "So, my friends are having a get together at their place tonight. Would you like to pop over and say hi on the way back to my place?"

"Are we going to your place?" Casey smirked.

"I may have assumed...last night we were at your place."

Casey bit her lip, she enjoyed this playfulness between them. It was an aspect she'd never had in a relationship before, granted their had only been one with a man. "I'm okay with both."

"Wonderful," Alex said as she finished the small cake. "Now we-"

"Alexandra, Casey," a man's voice caught them off guard, "fancy seeing two of my best teachers here tonight."

Looking up, Alex immediately caught sight of their boss, Arthur Branch, and his wife. "Good evening sir," she addressed, "Are you just arriving?"

"We are," his wife, Carolyn stated, "What's good tonight?"

"Alex's lavender cheesecake for sure," Casey chuckled trying to hide her nervousness of being near this man after earlier. "Also, the Ropa Vieja."

"Now, that's one of my favorites," Arthur replied as his wife grabbed his arm.

"I'm going to see where the hostess is seating us. It was nice seeing you two again," she said before departing.

"Well, I'll leave you two to your dessert," he began only to pause, "by the way, Casey, I didn't know you were dating. For the Christmas party invitation would you like me to add your beau to the invitation?"

"You know he works out of town," She quickly covered as Alex went ashen, "I don't think it would be necessary."

"I just didn't want him to feel left out," Arthur stressed as he started to walk off only to quickly turn back, "and where are my manners, what's his name?"

"Winston," she said looking into Alex's darkened eyes, "Winston Smith."

"Winston," he said with a nod, "I'll try to remember that. Have a good one ladies."

With that he left them, as Alex let out a deep breath, "Winston Smith?"

"Well, I always did love a woman who understood Orwell's 1984. But you owe me a new paperweight," Casey chuckled softly with a wink. "And I figured he might figure out George Sand a little quicker. I didn't take him for a lover of dystopian literature."

"Playing with fire," Alex chided. "Where did he get the notion you were involved?"

"From me turning down the repair guy. I told old Chester that I was involved. Branch must have overheard," she explained.

Alex raised an eyebrow at the story, but chose not to dig, "Well then, I say we pay and get out of here before he puts your little lie together."

* * *

Sitting at the countertop in Alex's friends home, Casey found herself almost crying from laughing so hard. Abbie and Serena seemed to be full of hilarious stories about her girlfriend. And the two managed to tell them with such art that you felt as if you were in the moment.

"So, here Alex is driving this golf cart as fast as it will go through this upscale beach community," Serena described, "blowing right past the guard house yelling-"

"Pepto delivery!" Abbie belted.

"All while having on pink fuzzy bunny pjs, bright pink hair, and a bottle of Pepto Bismal," Serena ended.

"You all suck, and it was a dare," Alex jokingly muttered as she sipped her beer, "Don't you have friends to attend to in the other room?"

"Aww, don't be bummed babe," Casey soothed as she kissed her girlfriend's cheek, "I'm loving every minute of stealing their attention."

"Well, tragically Alex is right," Abbie stated as she turned to head back into the living room, "It was wonderful meeting you, I bid you adieu."

Serena shook her head at her wife, "Are you all headed home?"

"I think so," Alex stated, "I'm just going to use the restroom first. Call you in the morning?"

"Sounds good," She replied as she turned her attention back to Casey, "I'm really happy we got to meet you tonight, and that everything has worked out for you two. I haven't seen her so happy - maybe ever!"

Casey nodded as her insides exploded with excitement at the other blonde's words, "She makes me crazy happy too. Hopefully we all can get together again soon."

Serena walked to the entrance of the living room, "I'd really like that. Have a great rest of your evening."

"Will do," Casey said as she tossed the empty beer bottles in the garbage bin, before walking down the hallway in search of her girlfriend.

Looking on the walls, she spotted sporadic pictures of her girlfriend traveling with the couple. Seeing how Alex seemed to glow in every one made her heart grow even more fond of the blonde. Hearing a door open behind her, she quickly turned only to find the woman that seemed to steal every thought in her mind.

It was quick, she wasn't sure who grabbed who first, but before she could fully register anything, they were both in the bathroom with the door locked. Her mouth was against Alex's throat, her hands moving quickly to tangle in those long blonde locks, pulling them aside to exposed more skin, small gasps of passion filling the air.

"Case," she whispered, "We should go home."

"I...can't...wait," Casey replied quickly between rushed kisses, breaking only to stare into Alex's eyes, she still needed to know that she was okay with this madness, "to have you."

There is was again, Alex knew that look in Casey's eyes. Biting her lip in anticipation she nodded giving herself over. Watching as the redhead bent down, pushing her dress up, and pulling her stockings down to her ankles.

Settling back on the bathroom counter, Alex felt as if each breath was a labor in itself. She'd hadn't been this wild and careless since early high school, always a sex in bed kind of girl, but now watching this wild redhead kiss her way up her thighs, she couldn't understand why she'd never allowed for such craziness. The fact that Casey wanted her so intensely made her feel like she could explode.

And when those full lips, hot mouth, and bubblegum tongue finally connected where she needed it most she felt like she would burst. Hands tangled in short red hair as she tried to roll into Casey's tongue, the feeling of it moving against her swollen clit produced a pleasure like none other. Her gasps, and pants turning into merciless pleas. Only turning silent, when the younger woman sucked it into her mouth and began flicking her tongue fast against the spot she needed her the most.

Heart racing, hands pulling at hair, lungs burning, she felt herself tremble wildly as the most intense orgasm crashed through her. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but as she sucked in a deep breath and finally opened her eyes, Casey was standing before her biting her bottom lip with a look of satisfaction emblazoned on her face.

"Proud?" Alex gasped as she stood and attempted to quickly fix herself up.

"Fuck yes," Casey whispered, "You really have no idea. And damn, I can't believe you managed to stay that quiet, I don't think I've felt you come that hard before."

Turning to her girlfriend, she smiled as she pulled her close, "I haven't," she kissed her moaning at the taste of herself still on her tongue, "I'd love to stay for you, but I need to get you home and feel all of you."

Nodding against her lips, Casey broke away. Biting her lips to stifle laughter, as she carefully opened the door so they could sneak out. Finding the coast clear, they snuck back to the kitchen grabbing the jackets and exiting through the back door.

It felt like being young and wild all over again to Alex. The thrill of Risk exciting every fiber within her. Just this time, she didn't really care if she got caught.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Okay, I know it's been a wait for this one. I've been working on this story and Faces for the past few weeks, and it's been insane at work. Please hang in there these next few months if my updates get slow. I'm prepping students for testing, so I'm a little brain dead at night these days!

Plus, I enjoy the longer chapters. ;)

* * *

"Hey, Mom," Casey said as she answered her cellphone while rummaging through her dresser drawers. She and Alex had parted ways about an hour earlier after an intense workout, and she'd finally managed to shower and get ready.

"Hey, honey," Anita Novak's warm voice crossed the line, "I'm here in the kitchen preparing your favorite Thanksgiving dish and missing you terribly. Are you sure you don't want to blow this boy off and come home? Or better yet bring him with you for your father and I to meet?"

Folding her sweater and setting it on top of her skinny jeans, Casey cringed. She hated spreading her lie about her wonderful boyfriend Winston Smith home to her parents as well, but shortly after that dinner with Alex, Adrian had started stirring waves with her parents. They'd suddenly become worried about her relationship with the evil schoolteacher, and Casey needed to calm fears. In that moment of desperation, she'd passed the lie on.

She knew she should have just been honest. Told her parents the truth and let the cards fall as they might, but she wanted time. She needed time. Alex and her had only been an item for a little bit, and she wasn't even sure yet if it was love. Telling her parents the truth may have added undo stress to a potentially wonderful relationship.

So, at that time, she let Winston Smith leave the pages of _1984_ , and waltz into her life to shield she and Alex from _Big Brother's_ watchful eyes.

"Mom, you know I'm going to Winston's family's house for the holiday," Casey played along, "It wouldn't be fair to leave him hanging."

"I know," her mother sighed, "Just promise to bring him home for us to meet soon. We'd like to get to know the guy whose clearly stolen your heart."

"Mom," she sighed. "Don't rush it."

"You are going to meet his family, it's only natural he meets yours too. Plus, I've never heard you talk about a boy like you talk about him."

Her mother's words were true, she hadn't ever talked about anyone the way she talked about Winston. The only problem was Winston was Alex, and Alex wouldn't get the same reception as a man. "You might be right. He is very special, and I hope you really like him when you meet him. He makes me really happy."

"Casey, you sound like you are falling in love with him," her mother squealed across the line.

The comment caused Casey to stop pacing her apartment and sit down on the bed. She wasn't sure if she was falling in love or not, and to be honest, she wasn't sure if she'd ever been in love.

"Are you still there?" Anita questioned.

"Yes," she blurted, "I just, I don't think I've ever been in love before. What does it feel like? How do you know?"

"You'll know when it happens," her mother assured, "you will want to share everything with him, and you will feel safe. Naturally, at first it will be more infatuation, but when that passes you'll know it's love because you will listen to each other, put each other first, and want to build a lasting commitment."

Laughing slightly, she shook her head, "Yeah, I'm not sure if that matches what you see on TV, but I'll take your word for it."

"Ah," Anita snorted, "Your generation needs work. Anyway, let me know how tomorrow goes, I'm excited for you."

"Thanks, Mom," Casey smiled to herself as she stood to resume getting ready, "It really does mean a lot."

Disconnecting the call, she looked to her dresser where a picture of her and Alex at last weeks school Turkey Trot stood. She wasn't sure if it was love just yet, but seeing the two of them in their silly opposing school colors, covered in shaving cream, laughing together made her smile. It had been a fun day, but even better because she was enjoying her everyday life with her girlfriend.

Something society didn't always let them do...

* * *

Alex sat on the couch, her long legs perched on the coffee table, with her girlfriend snuggled into her side. The crackling of the dying fire could barely be heard as the judges on the television cooking show picked the contestants dishes apart as they attempted to frantically prepare them. This is what their evenings had become since Thanksgiving break had begun. Domestic and easy.

Looking down at her partner's head resting against her breast, she felt a twinge of something spark within her heart. It was a feeling she hadn't felt in a long while, and she couldn't be sure if it was actually what she thought it might be. Yet, before she could place it, the redhead sat up and started yelling at the television causing the muddled thoughts to disappear.

"He's going to get chopped if he doesn't get everything plated! What is he doing? Plate your food you idiot!" Casey frantically ordered at the screen.

"You tell him, babe," She chuckled.

"Well, if he'd listen to me...you have ten seconds...come on!"

Watching as the clock wound down, and Casey yelled obscenities at the screen as her favored contestant forgot a part of his dish, Alex couldn't help but laugh. There was one thing for sure, life was interesting and full of energy with her in it. "He might not get chopped."

Looking to her girlfriend, the younger woman sighed, "He's a goner. Even if he makes it to the next round he can't win."

"That's a shame. Speaking of forgetting food, I better check the pies soon," she groaned as she bent her knees.

Casey chuckled at the blonde's stiff body, "Getting old?"

"Just cold and sore from our workout this morning."

"I told you we didn't need to go for a run after the strength training, that was all your pushing," the younger woman laughed, "but you had to run..."

"Okay, you were right, I was wrong," Alex laughed as she pulled the blanket around her cold frame.

"Do you want me to toss another log on the fire," Casey questioned as she slipped her boots on.

"Sure," Alex hummed as she rubbed her cold feet, "Are you staying the night or going home?"

Casey moved the fire screen aside and pulled the last log from the bin before knocking the burned pieces into formation. Dropping the new log on, she continued, "I was planning on going home tonight, unless you wanted me to stay..."

Alex scrunched her face in thought. "You slept at your place last night. Stay with me tonight. It will be easier to get ready and go to Aunt Liz's house tomorrow morning."

Climbing on top of the blonde's lap, she braced her arms on the couch on either side of Alex, "You sound so sad with that statement. Did you miss me last night?"

"Terribly," Alex said before stealing a kiss. It was anything but light. It begged for more to come, but it was getting late and they had a busy day ahead of them. Breaking away, she looked into her girlfriend's dark green eyes, "Stay here with me tonight, sleep at home tomorrow if you must."

"If I must," Casey playfully teased as she sat back on her lap, a mischievous smirk on her lips, "Good thing I planned ahead and brought an overnight bag," she chuckled as she leaned in and kissed her quickly before pulling back, "I missed you too."

Pausing the show they were watching, Casey stood and moved to the front door,

"I'll just go grab my stuff and then we can resume."

"Can you grab some more wood from the garage while you are outside?"

"Actually," she smirked, "I bought a new bundle while at the store earlier. So, I will get it from the car!"

Watching her girlfriend head outside, Alex smiled to herself as she stood and headed to the kitchen to check their pies. Aunt Liz had asked them to bring a pumpkin and pecan pie to dinner. It had seemed like a simple and easy request at the time. Although, it had proved to be quite a challenge.

Neither she nor Casey had realized what all was required in baking pies. After an hour long trip at the grocery store, they'd returned home to prepare their seeming-less easy desserts. Sadly, it had taken them three attempts to get the pumpkin pie filling right and the first pecan pie succumbed to a nasty death on the kitchen floor. She could only hope these turned out.

Glancing in the ovens, Alex quickly assessed that they needed to exit the heat. Frantically grabbing for oven mitts, she pulled the pumpkin pie out setting it on the cooling rack, before turning back for the pecan. Yet, as she pulled it free, she turned to find Casey at the counter inspecting the slightly burnt pumpkin.

"Well, what do you think?" She asked as she nudged the oven door shut with her foot and set the pecan down.

Casey looked seriously at her girlfriend. Full lips pursed, she looked down at the dish and back into questioning eyes as she spoke, "Alex, you are chopped," in a very matter of fact tone.

"Oh, shut up," she laughed throwing the oven mitt at her.

Ducking the fabric weapon, the redhead wrapped her arms around the blonde, sweetly pressing their foreheads together, "It's okay, I like burnt pies."

"I'm glad," Alex chuckled as she kissed her again.

The kiss was long and sweet, hinting at what could be. Breaking apart, Casey breathed against her lips, "I love kissing you..."

"I love kissing you too..."

"Let's finish Chopped and go to bed," The redhead whispered as she kissed her again before turning to head back to the living room, tugging lightly on Alex's fingers.

Watching the playful younger woman, Alex knew she was in way over her head. She was falling fast for this woman. She just hoped Casey was feeling the same way.

* * *

The next morning, Casey found herself in the passenger seat of Alex's Audi, wringing her hands as anxiety pounded through her veins. She was trying to calm herself by watching the landscape pass by the windows, but nothing was working. Stealing a look to her girlfriend, she only found the usual calm and confident Alexandra Cabot.

Finally the redhead burst, "I'm so nervous!" As she bounced in the passenger seat, "How are you so calm? What if she hates me?"

Turning up her aunt's driveway, Alex laughed at her silly companion, "I'm calm because she loves me. And, you have nothing to worry about. She will love you too."

"How do you know?"

"Because you are kind of amazing..."

Casey bit her lip at the comment, as she watched her partner concentrate on navigating her car up the driveway. As Alex put the car in park, Casey couldn't help but beam at her. Something about being there with Alex had her shaking with excitement and nerves, but she wouldn't rather be anywhere else in the world.

"What?"

"I'm just not use to be anxious, and right now I feel like I could explode with it," she admitted.

Alex could tell it was more than nerves, but she knew her well enough to know that now wasn't the time to delve. So, she decided to take the light side. Taking Casey's hand and giving it a squeeze of assurance, she soothed, "Well don't explode, because I'd be miserable without you."

Casey half smiled at the comment as she locked eyes with Alex's. Her blue eyes shone with something just under the surface, and it caused Casey to want to pry. "Misery, it's such a strong word...would you really be miserable?"

The question caused an instant blush to cover the blonde's cheeks. Ducking her head, she swallowed thickly before regaining control. Making eye contact with Casey's sparkling green orbs, she affirmed, "Yes, I'd miss you terribly."

"I like that. I'd miss you too."

"Good," Alex half chuckled, "Then let's get this show on the road."

Vacating the car, each with a pie in hand, Casey took in Alex's aunt's house. It was a beautiful home. Very colonial with English style gardens outlining it. The smoke escaping the chimney seemed almost picturesque.

And watching Alex, making her way, with a happy skip in her step, seemed almost fictional. This moment was almost surreal. And Casey realized it was she never imagined being in this moment. Falling fast for a woman and meeting that woman's family on a holiday.

Moreover, it amazed her that Alex rarely saw her nuclear family, whereas she only holidayed with hers. She understood the connection the aunt and niece had and why, but it was still perplexing. It made her want to know this woman even more.

Watching her girlfriend open the door to the home, she hastened her pace. "Don't leave me behind!"

"Then speed up. It's cold!" Alex chuckled before calling out into the foyer, "Aunt Liz, I'm home!"

"In the kitchen, with this big bird!" A warm but firm voice cut down the hallway of the old home.

Letting out a snort, Alex shook her head slightly, "Welcome to my home away from home!"

Casey smiled and nodded slightly in return as she set her pie on a side table and passed her coat off. Walking forward a bit, she took in the home. Its furnishings were luxurious, not your typical store bought ensembles. Pictures of all sizes lined the hallway walls and tables, and the ones that Casey could make out were predominantly of Alex and her aunt. Alex looked happy in every one, and the way the two women acted in them, you'd imagine it was mother and daughter.

Sensing Alex move behind her, Casey relaxed letting the blonde wrap her arms around her. Feeling her nuzzle into her neck, Casey sighed, "She looks like she could be your mother."

"Honestly, I feel like she's my mother. At least, more so than my mother," Alex whispered before kissing her neck and stepping back. "Come meet her," she said taking Casey's fingers in her own and leading her down the hallway.

With every step toward the kitchen, Casey noticed more captured memories. Vacations, graduations, holidays. All centered around this woman she was about to meet, intermingled with Alex's family, then only Alex. They were beautiful and she loved having the opportunity to see them, even if it made her miss her own parents.

Feeling a temperature change, Casey looked forward, quickly noticing that she was about to enter the kitchen. Leaving the blue greens of the hallway behind, she faced the bright yellow of the kitchen. Quickly she noticed a short haired blonde at the kitchen counter with her arm inside a turkey.

"Well, this is one way to meet your girlfriend, isn't it," the older blonde laughed to her niece, as she freed herself and turned to the sink to wash up. "Casey, I'm Liz Donnelly, but you can call me Aunt Liz if you like. I'm fairly certain Serena and Abbie have flat out adopted me now."

"If you'd stop feeding them they'd move on," Alex quipped.

Aunt Liz turned around drying her hands with a towel, "I would, but Abbie always wins me over with the bourbon she brings, and Serena's cheesecake is so delicious...So, I guess I have to keep them after all," she joked as she held out her hand to Casey, "And you my dear, I've heard so many wonderful things already. I feel as if you are family."

Casey blushed at her words, "Thank you. Alex always speaks with such admiration about you as well. And your home is stunning."

"Thank you," the older blonde replied. "Well Alexandra, make yourself and Casey at home. I have the coffee already brewed, breakfast casserole is in the warming drawer, fruit in the fridge, baked goods on the breakfast table...I think that's everything. I'm going to run upstairs to change, before the parade starts, and the circus arrives. So, eat and be merry until I return."

Watching her girlfriend's aunt head out of sight, Casey moved to the breakfast table. Taking a seat, she snagged a muffin as she looked out the window pane onto the winterized gardens. She could only imagine how beautiful the view would be in the spring.

"Alexandra, get these cripsy pies to the kitchen!" Her aunt's voice carried from the hallway, quickly stealing her girlfriend for a moment.

The brief solitude allowed Casey to look around and imagine what growing up here must have felt like for her. Leaving the city behind and moving here to the quiet. It left her with volumes of questions.

Alex silently reinterred the kitchen, placing the pies gently on the counter and watching her nerve filled curious girlfriend. She was sitting in the same seat that she'd sat in not too terribly long ago pouring out her feelings to her aunt. It was a surreal moment to now see the woman who'd stolen her heart sitting in that same spot. It made her fill with even more butterflies.

Quickly fixing two cups of coffee, she sat across from her partner, passing the second cup off. "I sat exactly where you are sitting at the end of October pouring my heart out to Aunt Liz about how I was crazy for you and thought I'd ruined any chance of being with you."

Looking up into deep blue eyes, Casey smiled sweetly, "Oh, did you now?"

"I did."

"And what did she tell you?"

"That she'd raised me better than that," Alex deadpanned.

Laughing at the omission, Casey continued, "Is that all?"

"No," Alex smirked, "She told me to let you speak first, then for me to come clean about everything..."

"Oh, did she now?"

"She did."

Casey blew lightly on her coffee as she stared into Alex's mischievous eyes. She knew what the blonde was getting at, "You aren't off the hook."

"Good, because I enjoy being caught by you," she laughed.

"I'm glad," Casey began only pausing to sip her coffee, "Because I'm happy with our little affair..."

* * *

Later that evening, as the couple sat next to each other in Aunt Liz's living room, Casey absorbed the fun atmosphere. Serena and Abbie cracking each other up over silly college confessions, Aunt Liz was devouring a large slice of cheesecake, and Alex was pressed into her side. It was then that Casey fully realized this was how she wished to her own family holidays could go.

It was peaceful and full of love. Everyone in the room respected and loved one another. Even if they were all engaged in some other conversation, they still enjoyed each other's company. The whole event was special, unique, and accepting.

And sadly it broke Casey's heart. Maybe it was the drinks, but suddenly she felt weak. Feeling a knot form in her throat, she quietly excused herself, quickly leaving the room behind. She wasn't trying to make a scene, she just needed air. Sneaking into the hallway, she slipped into the half bathroom.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she wondered what was so wrong with her that her own parents couldn't accept her for who she was...yet as the thought crossed her mind she mentally tried to squash it. Deep down she knew it wasn't a problem with her, it was a problem with them. But before she could pick her emotions apart there was a light knock on the door.

"Case, are you okay?" Alex's warm voice crept through the door.

Opening it slightly, she looked out at the concerned blonde. The sight of her girlfriend caused the tears she'd been fighting back to escape. Angrily trying to wipe them away, she tried to nod that she was fine, although the blonde didn't buy any of it. Instead she slipped into the small space, and pulled Casey tight into her arms letting her fall apart in her embrace.

"It's okay," Alex soothed. She'd watched her girlfriend all day. The nervousness had passed after breakfast with her aunt, but what had remained was a look of longing. And it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was longing for, it was something Alex had wanted for so long at one point in life. She knew it all too well. "I'm here for you, let it out."

"I'm so sorry," Casey cried lightly not wanting to be heard by anyone else, "I don't mean...to ruin everything."

"Shh," Alex said holding her tighter while kissing her head, "You aren't ruining anything..."

After a minute or two her tears tapered off, and Casey was able to regulate her breathing again. Righting herself, she looked into the blonde's eyes. "Sorry, I'm a wreck."

"No," Alex softly spoke as she brushed stray locks of red hair from Casey's face, "You are hurting for just reasons."

"Is it that obvious?"

"To me? Yes. But I know you in ways that other people don't. So don't freak out, because I won't sell your secrets."

Looking into blue eyes, Casey knew she was right. Alex knew her in ways she didn't want to reveal to others. And she loved that the blonde could read her so easily. "I love that about you."

"I'm glad," she whispered as she captured Casey's lips in a soft kiss.

Casey didn't waste a moment in deepening the kiss, but their moment of solitude was quickly interrupted by a rapping at the bathroom door.

"Hey you two," came Abbie's voice from the other side, "if you aren't careful you'll get a reputation for being _that_ couple at parties."

Breaking apart, Casey gave Alex a horrified look as Alex burst out laughing opening the door to find the three women they'd left behind in the living room. Serena smirked at them. As Aunt Liz moved forward to Casey, giving her hand a squeeze of relief.

"You knew?" Alex snarked as her aunt whisked her girlfriend away.

"Nope," Abbie laughed, "but you proved Rena's assumption right!"

"I hate you," Alex grumbled with a frown.

Rena laughed, "You love us because we keep you young!"

"Casey," Aunt Liz said drawing the redhead into the kitchen again, "Are you okay?"

"I am now," she admitted, "I just needed to get out some pent up emotions."

"They'll come around," Aunt Liz soothed as she led the redhead to the table for some freshly brewed coffee. "Parents make stupid mistakes, but they will come around eventually."

"What if they don't?"

"Then they are fools." The older blonde snarked. "Alex told me that you were faking a boyfriend for them. Is this true?"

"Yes," Casey admitted sitting again at the breakfast table, "Winston Smith."

At the mention of the name, Aunt Liz chuckled, "Very astute choice. I assume Big Brother hasn't figured that one out yet."

"As far as I know," Casey beamed.

Aunt Liz looked towards the hallway, where her niece and friends were still talking. "Tell me the truth about something. Is he a real threat?"

There was a long pause between the two as Casey stared into similar blue eyes. She didn't want to lie, but she wasn't really sure what the true answer was. "He could be."

"Has he ever hurt someone before?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Well be safe," Aunt Liz said as she picked up her cup and took a long sip. "Because I'd hate to have to beat the crap out of him."

"You have to beat me to it," Casey smirked.

"I knew I'd like you," Aunt Liz said squeezing her hand again, "And I want you to know, I have never seen Alexandra so happy." Casey smiled at the older blonde as she heard the voice of her lover approach.

Liz watched her niece's girlfriend carefully, noticing how the redhead's facial expression changed at the sight of her. Noticing how both their faces lit up in smiles at the sight of each other, a silent exchange of unspoken words being passed between them. It was an amazing thing to witness, love.

Smirking at the two oblivious kids, she wondered if either of them knew they were falling in love. Or even if they had exchanged the words yet. She just prayed and hoped that nothing got in the way of their happiness...


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: To all my wonderful readers, I have not left these stories, I've been working on them. I know it's taken awhile to update and for that I am sorry. However, I have been preparing students for testing, helped my sister have a baby, and finishing a yearbook. Hang in there! Summer is coming. Oh, and I started plotting another story...so the Casey/Alex fandom has plenty of stories to come. If you want shorter chapters I can try, but the longer ones take time, and I'm a picky asshole when it comes to my work!

All that explained, please enjoy!

Elle

* * *

Everything about her was stunning...

That was the thought running through Alex's head as she watched her girlfriend working with one of the dance students. The teenager was to be the prima of the winter recital, and Casey was helping her to perfect every move.

She was gentle, caring, and sweet. Most new teachers wouldn't dream of taking on after hour responsibilities, but here Casey stayed. It was that enormous loving heart of hers. Helping even when it wasn't her department.

"Cabot," Kim's voice broke her thoughts.

Turning to look the brunette in the eyes, Alex smiled, "Hey."

"Hey," she whispered, "Stop ogling. My girls are laughing at how entranced you look over here."

"Oh," she whispered back, "I can fix that."

Walking towards the group of girls Kim had been working with, Alex squatted down next to them while they stretched. "So, I've been watching you all, and Alice over there working with Ms. Novak. I have a feeling the recital is going to be a stunning performance. Do you all agree?"

A round of excited answers exploded the group of twelve girls. Trying to hear every response she smiled up at Kim. "Well, I was just telling Ms. Greylek that I will definitely be there to see the full performance."

"Every ticket sold helps to send us to our state championship in March," Greylek teased.

"Well," Alex replied with a sigh as she stood, "I will see if my friends and family would like to join me if that's the case."

Seeing Casey approach from behind Kim, a smile formed on the blonde's lips. She was aware that she should try to control her reactions, but it was a lost cause at every turn. Her heart yearned to be with her girlfriend. It yearned to touch her, to make her laugh, to hold her.

"Hey, you ready to make those copies?" Casey asked as she neared the group.

"Yes," Alex replied as she took every part of her cohort in. The dance attire was flattering on her slim form, and she couldn't help but want to peel it off of her. "Everything's in the milk crate over there," she explained pointing towards the door, "I was just telling the girls here that I'm super excited about Saturday's performance and that I'll try to get family and friends to attend as well."

"That sounds wonderful," Casey replied as she grabbed her bag from the side and pulled on her NYU hoodie before turning to the girls. "Ladies, I will see you tomorrow afternoon. Ms. Cabot, lead the way to the office!"

As the girls yelled their farewells, Casey followed her girlfriend from the dance studio. Once they were far enough down the path, out in the freezing December air, she spoke, "So, do you really think the performance will be a hit?"

Turning her head back to examine the redhead, Alex could see the sincerity of question behind playful green eyes. "I don't doubt it."

A small smile formed on the younger woman's lips, "And are you really inviting your aunt?"

"Absolutely," Alex answered, "You have worked so hard with them. I know she'll want to support you as well."

"You are so sweet," Casey cooed with a goofy smile as they neared the office. "Both of you..."

"I'm glad you both get along so well," Alex replied as her mind traveled to their quiet family dinner a few nights earlier...

 _Standing in the kitchen doorway, she'd watched her aunt cleaning vegetables with her girlfriend. The two were softly chatting about cooking techniques and growing vegetables. It was a simple moment, a private moment, and Alex had been happy to see that they were growing so close._

"Where did you go Ms. Cabot," Casey laughed as she bumped the distant looking blonde's shoulder with her own.

"Just thinking about dinner the other night," she partly confessed as she approached the entrance to the main office, realizing their location she offered, "Remind me to tell you later."

"The vegetables were delicious," The redhead absentmindedly replied as she walked into the building.

Alex could only watch her walk down the hall as she smiled at the younger woman. If she only knew the thoughts that were running through her mind. She wondered if they would scare her cohort off, or if she'd return them.

Suddenly, noticing the redhead had stopped moving forward and was staring at her, she tilted her head to the side in confusion, "What?"

"Alex," the younger woman laughed, "You are doing it again."

"Doing what?"

Casey shook her head and took the crate from her partner, "Spacing out. You clearly need some sleep."

Letting out a sigh, she replied, "Yeah, you are probably right."

"Well come on, Sleepyhead," Casey chuckled as she continued down the hallway.

Alex followed on command, wondering how long she could keep brushing off Casey's questions. She knew she'd eventually have to tell the truth. She just worried about the younger woman's response.

Looking at her girlfriend, she mentally replied, " _I'm just lost thinking about how I've fallen in love with you."_

* * *

"It's almost showtime!" Casey yelled backstage at the girls finishing their makeup and rushing to get to their locations. "Where is Alice?"

"Ms. Novak," a younger girl called to her from behind.

Turning at the sound of her name, Casey found a ninth grader by the name of Meghan calling her. "Hey, what's up?"

"Alice is freaking out!" The girl whispered as she neared.

"Where is she?"

"In the bathroom," Meghan explained, "crying."

"Show me," she stated as she followed the student. Entering the bathroom she could hear the panic in the high schoolers sobs. "Hey Kiddo, why are you crying?" Casey asked as she rushed to the young girl taking her into a mother-like hug.

"I - can't - do this!" The girl forced out.

"Nonsense!" Casey scoffed, "You are amazing! You will totally be able to to rock this, you know how I know?"

Alice shook her head as she tried to calm herself. "How?"

"Because I've watched you practice endlessly. And you are amazing. You didn't need my help as much as you thought you did. You are a master at this. I promise." She watched as the young girl drank in her praise and seemed to breathe easier. "Do you think you can do this?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Casey cheered, "Meghan, get her makeup! We need to do some emergency touch-ups!"

Quickly, fixing the girl's makeup, she ushered them to their places for opening act just as Kim introduced her dancers. Her friend looked stunning dressed in a gold and black ensemble to match the winter themed production. She had such a big heart for all her students. It was a beautiful thing and made Casey proud to call the brunette her best friend.

Watching as the excited dance teacher finished her spiel, Casey got her girls ready for their big entrance. As the music started, and the first wave of dancers entered onto the stage followed by Alice, she let out a sigh of relief, moving to the curtain at the stage to congratulate her friend.

"Great speech," she whispered.

"Thanks," Kim smiled, "and thank you for all your help."

"My pleasure."

"Hey," Kim chuckled as she nudged the redhead's arm, "I saw your girl out there. She brought a group of people."

"What? Who all did she bring?" Casey said trying to peer out at the audience through the stage lights.

"She brought what appeared to be five maybe six people."

"Really?" Casey chuckled, "This I've got to see."

"If you move to stage right you might be able to see them through the lights," Kim explained as she motioned to the location she was referring.

"I'll be back," Casey chuckled in a soft tone as she dashed behind the stage and over to the opposite side of the performance. Reaching the other side, she looked out through the curtains, through the wide sea of eyes, spotting her gorgeous blonde almost instantly in the crowd.

It was a face she'd know anywhere. And in the midst of an almost packed house there it was, clear as day. Blonde hair, black framed glasses, red lip stick. All illuminated even in the dark house. Or maybe, Casey thought, maybe it was just her mind that colored Alex in more than anyone else.

Staring at her partner, Casey realized what she'd been trying to piece together over the past few weeks. Her emotions that she'd tried to push down. A feeling that had sparked deep within her mornings and mornings ago while she watched the blonde sleep peacefully next to her. It was that feeling her mother had tried to describe to her.

Love.

And know she knew it. Looking at the smiling blonde with her group of supporters. She was in love with this magical woman. She just didn't know how or when to express it...

* * *

"Alexandra," Serena's smooth voice drew out the stately name as she called to her friend staring at her reflection in the dressing room mirror. "Are you going to share those thoughts in your head? Or do we need to send Ab's here for more coffee?"

"Hey!" Abbie scoffed, "Why am I the coffee bitch?"

"Because you do it so well," the spunky blonde replied to her wife.

"Try again," Abbie deadpanned, "Don't try to use flattery to get me to do what you want. Just be honest, and say you don't want to go wait in that ridiculous line again, so you are sacrificing my sanity."

Smirking at her brunette, Serena laughed, "You know me so well."

"That I do," Abbie smiled, before facing her friend that was taking forever to pick out a dress for her annual Christmas party. "So, is this it?"

"I don't know..." Alex finally spoke, "Is it too dressy?"

"Maybe," Serena admitted only to get a swat on the arm from her partner.

"No, it's perfect," Abbie interrupted, "So buy it and we can move onto lunch, well at this rate supper."

"You are just saying that because you don't want to wait for her to try on other dresses!"

"I thought she looked fine in the black jumpsuit," Abbie argued, "but you talked her out of it!"

"It was too blah," Serena defended.

"No it wasn't! She could jazz it up with fun colorful jewelry and a pretty colorful jacket if need be!"

"Because it was boring!"

"Enough!" Alex interrupted the two with her teacher voice. "I need help, not a dueling couple."

Both women blushed in embarrassment. Then Abbie spoke, "Fine, what are you looking for Alex. You don't normally take a billion years to pick an outfit out. At this rate, I feel like we should have gone into the city and let an personal attendant at Nieman's or Saks help you."

"I need it to be memorable..." the tall blonde answered as she turned to examine her profile, "This just isn't it. Damnit. I hate the city, I don't want to go there."

Frowning at the state of her friend, Serena picked up on the most important part of what her best friend was saying. "Why do you want it to be memorable?"

"Yeah," Abbie blurted only to quickly turn to face _her_ blonde, "wait, what?"

"Casey and I are going together, I want it to be special. It might be the only thing we get to do Christmas wise together...I want it to be special."

Serena beamed at her friend as she jumped up, "You are in love!"

"What!" Abbie exclaimed joining her wife in badgering their friend, "When did this happen? Is she in love too?"

"I don't know," Alex admitted sheepishly, "I haven't told her yet..."

"What are you waiting for?" Abbie questioned.

"The right moment," Alex replied, "I don't want to spook her. She's so new to this, and I've had a habit of doing that..."

"Alex," Serena said softly taking her hand, "Casey loves you. I can see it in the way she looks at you. It's clear as day."

"Rena's right," Abbie added, "Don't live in fear. Be honest with her. Say it when you know it's right."

"You think?" She questioned.

"We know so!" Serena laughed, "So, what are you looking for?"

Finally smiling, Alex excited confessed, "Something Christmassy, that makes me look amazing, and..."

"Memorable," Abbie interjected, "I think I saw the perfect outfit," only to receive shocked faces, "I'm serious, let me get it."

Watching the brunette run off, Alex looked to her friend, "She won't return with boots and a cowboy hat will she?"

"You never know," Serena laughed, "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Remember how Olivia joined us at Casey's dance recital?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, it turns out you and Casey aren't the only lesbians at Saint Francis after all."

"What? Did she meet someone?" Alex questioned in a quiet tone now. Not wanting to out someone unintentionally.

"Yes, she met a science teacher while you were off showering Casey with all your attention afterwards with Liz," Serena teased, "They evidently exchanged numbers and have been talking nonstop. Like, they are seriously into one another. Her name is Melinda."

"Warner! Wow, I never caught it," she replied as Abbie came rushing back into the room.

"Okay, here it is," the breathless brunette explained as she held up the emerald jumpsuit. It was stunning. Slim with long sleeves which would be perfect for the weather. "I think you could pair it with your gold Tory Burch's."

"I think you're right!" Alex swooned, "Let me try it on!"

Taking the garment she rushed into the dressing room, while Serena snuck out to the sales floor to grab something extra. When she came back, she found Alex standing again in front of the mirror this time with Abbie by her side.

"Al, you look stunning," she exclaimed.

"Doesn't she!" Abbie agreed.

"I love it," Alex swooned, "It's perfect, and will go beautifully with my gold shoes."

"And this," Serena added as she passed over a gold necklace with a heart shaped medallion at the end. "I thought it was fitting."

Alex fastened it around her neck loving how to came to a stop right above her breasts. She thought it was the right accent to the outfit, as she admired herself in the fitted jumpsuit, loving the perfect amount of drop in the neckline, and the flowing arms. "It's absolutely perfect!"

"Good! Let's buy it so we can go eat!" Abbie joked.

Taking one last look at herself, Alex nodded, "Deal," and as she turned back to her dressing room, she smiled to herself knowing it would be the memorable night she'd hoped for...

* * *

Lying in bed next to her sleeping girlfriend, Casey whispered, "Do you feel the way I do?"

Her heart was pounding deep within her chest, and she could no longer deny that all she ever wanted to do was tell the slumbering woman that she was madly in love with her. She found herself wanting to spend every minute with the blonde. She wanted to share ever detail of her day with her, and hear all about hers. It was exactly as her mother had described.

And she hated that she would be leaving Alex the Sunday morning after the Christmas party to go home for the holiday. It was only days away, and anything but what she wanted to do. Not to mention, she hated that Alex would be in Fairhaven alone on the holiday.

Aunt Liz was surprisingly flying to San Francisco to be with her college best friend, Lorna. Sadly, her husband had passed away shortly after Thanksgiving and she'd been struggling with the loss. Naturally, Liz wanted to support her, and decided while out for the funeral that she would return for the festivities.

As a result, she and Casey had encouraged Alex to go to her parents. However, the stubborn younger blonde wouldn't hear of it. She was okay with Casey going home, and Liz going to be with her friend. And when they prodded her to again visit her parents in NYC she went out and bought a Christmas tree to make her stubborn point. It was her way of saying no, without having to say it.

Casey could only laugh at her girlfriend's hatred of the City. Alex loved her parents and would talk to them a few times a week, but she'd fully expressed that she would avoid the City as much as possible. They could visit her. But for no reason would she return to it, ever.

Kissing the sleeping woman's forehead, Casey snuck away from bed, taking her phone and heading downstairs to get some coffee. As she reached the living room, she turned the Christmas lights on. Taking in the beauty of the spontaneous tree purchase, smiling at how they'd decorated the it, she turned towards the kitchen while fishing her phone from her bathrobe pocket.

She didn't hesitate in dialing her mother. And as the warmth of Anita's voice crossed the line with a, "Hey Honey," Casey felt reassurance in her decision.

"Hi, Mama," she replied.

"Is everything okay?" Anita questioned, "You sound stressed."

"I'm fine," Casey admitted, "I just want to share something..."

"What Honey?"

"I'm in love - " she began only to be cut off by her mother's squeal of delight.

"Really?" Anita collected herself, "Have you said it?"

"Not yet," she confessed, "I'm not sure if sh...Winston, feels the same way."

There was a pause, and Casey feared that she'd ruined her cover. However, she was relieved when her mother spoke, "Well, do you think he might?"

"I do, but how do I know for sure? I don't want to scare him off."

"I get that," Anita replied soothingly, "But if he doesn't then he isn't worth your time."

"So, should I just say it?"

"If the moment feels right, then yes," Anita said across the line. From her tone of voice, Casey knew her mother had a huge smile on her face.

"Mama," she began, "Would you and Daddy hate me if I don't come home for Christmas?"

"What? You haven't been home since your father's birthday. Why do you not want to come?"

"Well, Winston isn't going home for Christmas and he bought a tree and decorated it and all. I just don't want to leave him alone."

"Why don't you bring him here?" Anita questioned, but Casey could sense something in her mother's tone of voice.

"Mama, I just would rather bring him later..." she whispered before pausing for thought, "You know how Daddy and Adrian can be..."

Another long pause filled her ear. She could sense her mother was upset, "Casey, you'll never change them."

"I know," Casey breathed, "I just wish it was different. Do you understand?"

"I love you, Casey," her mother soothed, "I'll make sure it goes over with you father. You have fun with Winston. I do hope to meet him one day."

"Thank you," Casey replied, "I love you too. Always."

"And forever, Baby."

With that they disconnected their call. Casey's heart hurt. She did want to see her parent's, but she didn't want to leave Alex alone. She felt like you should be with loved ones during the holidays, and she loved Alex.

Moving to the kitchen, she fixed two cups of coffee and headed back upstairs to wake her girlfriend. However, when she reached the bedroom door, she found a showered blonde standing in the bedroom in her underwear. "Well, you're up!"

"Yeah," the blonde laughed, "I must have sensed you leaving. I figured you might come back soon and join me in the shower, you were down there for awhile."

"I was on the phone with my mother," Casey explained.

"Oh," Alex said as Casey began to prepare to get dressed for work, "is everything okay?"

"Yes," Casey said, drawing out the 's,' "I told her that I would be staying in Fairhaven for Christmas."

"What?" Alex questioned as she turned towards the redhead with a shocked expression on her face. "Why?"

"I didn't want to leave you here alone," Casey explained.

"Case," Alex defended, "I'm a grown up able to handle being alone. I want you to go and see your family. You already gave up Thanksgiving for me."

"I thought you'd like the gesture," Casey said shaking her head, a look of disappointment overtaking her, "I really didn't think it would be a bad thing. Clearly, I guess I should have asked first."

"I'm not trying to be an ass," Alex defended, "I just don't think we need to draw unwanted attention from your brother."

"He's always going to be there Alex," Casey snapped as she pulled on her clothes from the night before, "Eventually they will have to know about us...that is if we expect this to go further..."

Alex was left without words. She knew her reaction was not the one her girlfriend had expected, but then hearing that Casey was thinking long term made her feel even worse. "Casey..."

"Forget it," the redhead bit, "I'm going to get ready at home. We can cool off and talk about it all later."

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Alex shook her head as she watched her girlfriend leave. It was officially their first argument. She knew it had been bound to happen, but why over something like Christmas...

* * *

As the day came to an end, Alex sat at her desk, a scowl burned onto her face. She'd missed her text jokes with girlfriend, their banter over lunch, and usual afternoon walk. Casey had clearly been pissed off with how things had gone that morning, and avoided her all day. And Alex didn't blame her. She was pretty unhappy with herself.

Her words hadn't come off right. She didn't mean to upset the redhead. She'd just wanted what was best for her, which in her mind was time with her parents. Although, Alex hadn't really stopped to think about what Casey might really want. She'd jumped to conclusions, and now she'd caused quite a problem.

Hearing the office door rattle, she looked up to see the woman of her thoughts. A look of displeasure still etched on her face. "Can we talk?" She asked.

Alex nodded, "Pull up a chair."

"I'd rather stand."

"Suit yourself," the blonde asserted. She was shocked by her snippiness, but plowed forward anyway. "This morning...I didn't mean to sound ungrateful."

"I'm not concerned about that," Casey replied, "If you don't want me to stay then I'll go. I get wanting alone time. I just want to know what kind of time stamp you see on this relationship. Obviously, you don't see this being a lasting event and I guess I can understand that..."

"Why would you say that?" Alex said with a jerk of the neck as she moved to stand.

Holding her hand up to stop her girlfriend from moving towards her, Casey sighed, "You seem hell bent on avoiding conflict with my family..." she ran her hands through her hair pulling at the short strands on the back of her head, "and I'm not dense, I get why, but we can't avoid them forever. Eventually, they will find out. Your only way to keep Adrian away is to not be with me..."

Seeing hurt overwhelm green eyes she adored, Alex moved towards the younger woman, "That was never what I meant," she whispered, pulling Casey into her arms.

She was shocked by how the younger woman didn't push her away, but instead let herself be pulled close. Staring into emerald eyes that seemed to be fighting to read her mind, Alex spoke, "I'd love to have you stay. I'd would love nothing more than to wake up with you in my arms on Christmas morning. But, that being said, I don't want you to feel like you have to do those things. Of course I will miss you while you are gone, but I want you to be able to enjoy your family. It's what the holidays are made for..."

"And yet," Casey replied firmly, "You avoid yours?"

Alex stepped back and sat on the edge of her desk as she brushed her long hair from her face, "I don't avoid my family," she confessed, "I avoid the City. I hate it there, and I hate that house. They all know it, and usually we spend holidays in other locations because of it. They could come to me, but they chose to stay in NYC. And I'm okay with their choice."

"I'm sorry he caused that..."

"It's not your cross to bear."

Casey frowned at her girlfriend, "But it would make everything easier if he weren't around."

There was a long pause between them. Neither woman spoke, they just stared into each other's eyes. The void seemed enormous.

Finally, Alex spoke, "You can't think like that-"

"But you know you do," Casey whispered.

Alex wasn't sure what to say. She knew Casey was partly right, but she was also very wrong. Shaking her head, she decided maybe the truth was the way to go. Reaching for her, pulling her into her arms, Alex whispered, "The whole world would be different without him, so yes, at one point I may have wished he didn't exist...but sometime ago, I came to realize I like this world."

She paused to brush a lock of hair from Casey's eyes, taking a moment to get lost in them, "And then, I met this stunning woman, and it turned out she was his sister...and I think he hurt her too...so, here we are in this slightly damaged wonderful world together, and I really like it, this world we are managing together."

Casey didn't break eye contact with her girlfriend, she just stared deeply into those blue eyes, feeling as if she were being tossed in an ocean, "It will be hard on you."

"I can be tough," Alex assured.

"What if it becomes to much?"

"It won't."

Casey shook her head as she attempted to step back only for Alex to hold her gently in place at the waist. "Let me go," she softly said with no gumption.

"Do you really want me to?"

Looking back into those sapphire eyes, Casey whispered, "How do you know you can handle it?"

"Because it's you, Case," she affirmed, "and you are kind of worth fighting for."

* * *

Lights twinkled overhead as Casey left the stuffy house and party, escaping towards the gazebo nestled away in the backyard. She needed air and to be away from the crowd. It was only as she sat on a bench inside the wooden structure that she realized she hadn't told Alex where she was going.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. They'd come to this party together wanting to celebrate the festivities as a couple, but from the moment they'd entered the house they had to put on a charade. Even Branch had come over with his wife and instantly questioned where Winston was that evening. She couldn't help but wonder how they could ever have a real relationship with all the secrets they kept. Hearing the sound of footsteps, she opened her eyes to see Alex approaching.

"Why'd you come outside?" Alex questioned as she walked into the dark covering. Casey could barely make out the green color of Alex's outfit as she neared.

"I couldn't take it another minute," She confessed.

"Take what?"

"Having to pretend to not be us. It's our last night together and I feel like we can't even touch in there. I know I probably sound silly..."

"You don't," Alex whispered as she straddled her girlfriend's lap, feeling the redhead instantly wrap her arms around her she smiled and took advantage of the moment kissing her slowly, enjoying the feeling of desperation and need in the younger woman. As they broke apart, Alex smiled at her partner. "You look stunning tonight."

"I do?"

"You do," Alex confirmed, "I love this gold dress of yours..." she almost purred as she ran her fingertips along the boat neckline of the dress.

"Alex," Casey groaned softly, "Aren't you nervous about getting caught out here?"

"Nope," she laughed, "No one would be silly enough to come outside in this weather. It could snow any moment it's so cold."

"You like playing with fire."

Leaning to the redhead's ear, Alex whispered, "I think that's you my dear."

"Nonsense," She scowled playfully in the dark, before kissing her girlfriend again, this time letting her hands wander across the emerald material.

As they finally parted, breathless and wanting more, Casey stared into her girlfriend's playful expression, the twinkling lights from the garden illuminating part of the blonde's face. "What are we doing?"

Frowning, Alex asked, "What do you mean?"

"Why are we playing out this secret affair?"

Realizing what she was asking, she took the younger woman's hands in her own, "I'm doing this because I am in love with you," she confessed.

"You are in love with me?" Casey questioned.

Moving a hand to cup the redhead's face, Alex moved in close, "Yes," she breathed, "I'm in love with you."

"I love you too," Casey whispered before capturing Alex's lips with her own. The kiss was soft and full of the love they shared. A small intimate moment, that was quickly ended by the sound of the door to the house opening.

Pausing in her lover's arms to look up towards the house, Alex scanned the porch, before looking into dark green eyes. "What do you want to do?"

Casey stared at the blonde's shadowed face, smiling at the woman she'd fallen in love with, "I want you to take me home."

"You do?"

Leaning into her girlfriend she brushed a stray lock of blonde hair from her face, "Yes, take me home, to whoever's house is closest. I need you...all of you."

Shaking her head in understanding, Alex stood taking Casey's hand in her own, helping her up. "Then let's go."

Standing, Casey pulled her into her arms, "I love you, Alexandra. I love everything about you."

Kissing her once more, Alex pressed their heads together, "I love you too, Casey."

"Let's go home," she whispered as she allowed Alex to lead her away from the party and back to the safety of their private lives.


End file.
